Chris Stapleton’s New Single Won Late Night This Week

Before we get into this week’s ranking, a peek behind the late-night curtain: On Tuesday night, Nick Offerman guested on Jimmy Kimmel Live! At the Conan O’Brien Must Go premiere, Offerman explained that he’d originally been the first guest, then got bumped to second billing when Vice-President Kamala Harris was going to guest. But then political stuff happened (???) and Offerman was back on top. In the words Murray Hill, “Showbiz!” Would the No. 3 bit in this list have happened if Harris hadn’t been called away on Grown-up Business? Maybe not. It definitely wouldn’t have happened without the hard work of costume and postproduction people on Jimmy Kimmel Live! So hats off to the crew for working shit out on the fly, every goddamn week. Here’s what they made happen this week.

5. A Well-Executed Triple on The Late Show

This sketch about the Spring Olympics has some nice little moments. Making the logo legally distinct from the real ’lympos rings is great, as is bringing attention to that effort in the voiceover. And yeah, you never know how many layers you’re gonna need. But the Spring Break Triathlon is a satisfyingly constructed sketch within a sketch. Color commentary introduces the party athlete of Becky, who drinks jungle juice straight from the cooler. “Look at Becky go!” someone that sounds awfully like Brian Stack says. The three events are Drinking, Dancing, and Looking for Becky. We all know a Becky, don’t we, folks? The one whose beers start to taste like running through the parking lot? She’s a hero, but more importantly, she’s a good callback.

4. After Midnight’s Texting Etiquette

This is an excellent game for After Midnight. It wouldn’t have worked in the show’s previous iteration — partially because texting has gotten more complex in the intervening years, and partially because the nuance between “haha” and “hahaha” needs a woman host to fully embody. But beyond that, these three guests kind of bully Taylor Tomlinson for the fake texts on her fake phone, and that’s fun to see. Morgan Murphy, Marcella Arguello, and Felipe Esparza are like three rowdy kids with a babysitter barely older than them. Chaos. Entertaining chaos.

3. Nick Offerman’s Old-Timey Thesaurus

Saying old-timey nonsense is guaranteed comedy. The Simpsons knew it, Our Dumb Century knew it, and this sketch with Nick Offerman as deceased Arizona judge William T. Howell knows it too. Let’s just do some transcription: “Pistoned with a fully engorged giggle stick,” “Scrub their floral regions with barrel grease,” “You bacon-faced, pipkin-headed, brisket-beating, rump-fed, hen-sucked caper merchant!” Offerman brings a great counterpoint to these highfalutin words with his innate buff-dude physicality.

2. Snoop Dogg Covered in Urine on WWHL

The way Pam Grier talks about Snoop Dogg fainting in her presence should be a movie. First of all, can you blame him? Waweewawa, and furthermore, hummuma-hummuna! But listen to her tell it: “I knew when it was happening. He was turning pale, and he got up and he wobbled to the men’s room, and I said, ‘Is he okay?’ And he went in and he fell down on the pissy floor.” Then she says she’s a fan, but is that really a story you tell about someone you admire? Do you talk about how much piss they have on them? Incredible work from Ms. Grier.

1. Jimmy Kimmel, Chris Stapleton, and John Stamos

Pranks are a curse on our nation, because so many of them are thinly veiled cruelty. But if pranks were more like this (consensual, mostly pleasant, nice melody, good rhyme scheme), the world would be a better place. r/AITA would be less interesting, but the world would be better. This improv/prank hybrid made me literally laugh out loud, because everyone was having a nice time. Chris Stapleton and Jimmy’s band got to show off musical-improv chops, and someone had a really pleasant afternoon making up those lyrics.

You’ll note no commentary from the Trump trial is on this list. Because that shit’s tired and to the average politics noticer, not a huge change from the past six years or so. Not everything has to be, in the words of Mr. Show, “a nice show for the nice people,” but some things should be!