My ex was like Jekyll and Hyde
DEAR DEIDRE: My ex was like Jekyll and Hyde – one day he was all over me, the next he’d disappear and ghost me for a few days before reappearing and being loving again.
This went on for months until I finally had enough and broke up with him.
But his behaviour still bothers me. I don’t understand what happened, and it’s left me confused and desperate for answers. I’m 24 and he’s 26.
We’d spend a wonderful weekend together, and I’d feel I was falling in love and then he’d go missing for days.
If I told him I was upset, he’d apologise profusely and give me excuses, like his brother had had an accident. I don’t know what was true.
He kept promising to change and said he loved me, but always reverted to the same patterns.
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Sometimes, he didn’t drink at all. At other times, he clearly drank too much and didn’t eat properly.
It was like being with two different people. And he always insisted on coming to my place. He never invited me to his. When my friends saw what a mess I was in, I realised I needed to end the relationship. He blocked me immediately.
I need closure. What can I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You did the right thing by ending the relationship, as there was no future with this man.
But your need for closure is natural. Unfortunately, you may never get the answers you crave.
It is possible he may have been involved with someone else or it might just be that he is unstable.
Whatever the answer, his behaviour repeatedly confirmed he was not capable of honesty or commitment.
Talking to someone about your feelings would help you work through them. Think about counselling.
Spend time with your friends and take a break from dating until you feel stronger.
Read my support pack, Mend Your Broken Heart.