We’re waiting until marriage to make out – we’ve slept with people in the past but now we want a deeper connection
A NEW York couple is waiting until marriage for their first makeout.
It’s not that they’ve never locked lips with anyone before — or even slept with other people — but they want things to be different this time around.
BETTER BOND
Rebekah Hurford, 31, and her partner, Kirk Peter, 32, have decided to abstain from sex — and even making out “properly” — until marriage.
They say they are all doing it to “honor” each other and create “a deeper connection.”
While they are not engaged just yet, they do plan to eventually tie the knot.
While the pair have expressed their affection through a small peck and a hug here and there, they don’t let their love cross the line beyond that.
Instead, they have set boundaries to ensure they “never spend the night together.”
Though they are saving themselves for each other, Rebekah and Kirk are not that innocent.
They have both experienced “intimate” relationships with other people, but feel that their particular bond is “special.”
The couple has remained committed to holding out to see if it helps to create a “healthier” relationship.
Rebekah, a marketing communications director from New York City, explained the dedicated pair’s decision.
KEEPING THEIR LOVE IN LINE
“We decided to go a little strong with the boundaries to see if we can even do it,” she said.
“We decided to not make out with each other. He wasn’t going to sleep over. We wouldn’t share a room together. It’s definitely not an easy thing,” she added.
“I had been a bit skeptical about it. It’s been a really beautiful relationship.”
Kirk felt the same way about preserving their special connection.
“I told Rebekah really early on that I wanted this to work out, so I wanted to honor her in the way we do this relationship,” he said.
“I don’t want her to think I’m just after her for her body.
“In past relationships, it was really easy to not think about that boundary and whether it had any significance at all.
“I told her, ‘I don’t want to kiss you before we get married.’ This is the shortest part of our relationship. What is this time next to forever?”
IN DEEP
The couple, who were both raised as Christians, met through their church.
Though it didn’t take long for Kirk to start flirting with Rebekah by sliding into her DMs, it wasn’t love at first sight for the New Yorker.
People say we’re going to have a terrible wedding night. I don’t believe that.
Rebekah Hurford
“I wasn’t interested at all. He wasn’t my type. I was very picky,” she said.
Still, he wasn’t about to back down from winning her over.
On their second date, he shared a list of 30 questions to ask her.
“I thought, this is special. This is different,” she said.
“It progressed really fast,” she added.
After becoming official in June 2023, they decided to do things differently from their previous relationships.
“Not having sex until marriage is a value I hold. Sleeping with people and doing other things — it didn’t work out,” said Rebekah.
I don’t put it on a high pedestal. I just think of it as another level of us climbing the intimacy ladder.
Kirk Peter
“When I went outside these boundaries, it created an internal conflict. I had tried dating in a lot of ways,” she added.
“We decided to go super radical to help us have a healthy dating relationship.”
DATING DIFFERENTLY
After suffering from his own share of bad relationships, Kirk also wanted to steer this relationship in another direction.
“I didn’t want to do this one that same way. We can hold some boundaries and respect and honor each other,” he said.
“This doesn’t work unless we’re both on the same page.
“We wanted a deeper connection — mentally, intellectually, and spiritually as well, as just to see if we had fun with each other.”
Not taking any chances, they don’t share a room even when traveling together.
“I want the person I marry to be my best friend,” said Rebekah.
WAITING TO WED
Despite holding out, the couple isn’t worried about what their future sex life will be like.
“We’re very attracted to each other. It’s hard to not move forward,” she said.
“People say we’re going to have a terrible wedding night. I don’t believe that,” she added.
Kirk also weighed in on their waiting game.
“I don’t put it on a high pedestal. I just think of it as another level of us climbing the intimacy ladder,” he said.
They are already looking forward to becoming husband and wife once they are able to align their finances.
“Hard things are worth it. There is a deeper trust we have for each other,” said Kirk.
“People see that and say they want that. They want the real thing,” he added.
“I never thought I could care or love someone like I do now.”
