We in Telegram
Add news
March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010
August 2010
September 2010 October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 June 2015 July 2015 August 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 March 2017 April 2017 May 2017 June 2017 July 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 March 2018 April 2018 May 2018 June 2018 July 2018 August 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 January 2019 February 2019 March 2019 April 2019 May 2019 June 2019 July 2019 August 2019 September 2019 October 2019 November 2019 December 2019 January 2020 February 2020 March 2020 April 2020 May 2020 June 2020 July 2020 August 2020 September 2020 October 2020 November 2020 December 2020 January 2021 February 2021 March 2021 April 2021 May 2021 June 2021 July 2021 August 2021 September 2021 October 2021 November 2021 December 2021 January 2022 February 2022 March 2022 April 2022 May 2022 June 2022 July 2022 August 2022 September 2022 October 2022 November 2022 December 2022 January 2023 February 2023 March 2023 April 2023 May 2023 June 2023 July 2023 August 2023 September 2023 October 2023 November 2023 December 2023 January 2024 February 2024
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29
News Every Day |

Has your sex life fallen victim to the ‘Bristle Reaction’? Why it happens and how to overcome it

WHISPER it: sometimes your partner’s touch makes you go “ugh”.

It’s hardly the stuff of romantic fiction, is it?

Getty
Be honest, sometimes your partner’s touch makes you go ‘ugh’[/caption]
‘Bristle reaction’ is a term recently coined by sex therapist Vanessa Marin to describe that feeling

But if you’ve ever experienced the “bristle reaction” – a term recently coined by sex therapist Vanessa Marin and that’s racked up more than 2.8 million Google searches – you have no reason to feel guilty. 

“Bristling at your partner’s touch involves a knee-jerk reaction to them making contact with you,” says Hayley Quinn, a dating expert at Match.

“If you love your partner, you may not be able to immediately put your finger on why you don’t want to connect physically, but intuitively you’ll want to move your body away when they come near to you.” 

This feeling is more common than you may think, and it certainly doesn’t mean that the love has gone from your relationship, or that it’s doomed to fail.

“In fact, it’s almost inevitable that it will happen during a long-term relationship,” says Hayley.

“That’s because, even if a relationship begins red-hot, over time your circumstances will change and your desires for one another will ebb and flow.”

The question is, how can you overcome this feeling and re-establish a better connection?

WHY BRISTLE IF YOU LOVE THEM?

Often, the bristle reaction develops if you think – rightly or not – that the sole motive of a partner’s touch is to initiate sex.

It’s the dread of: “He’s kissing my neck, that can only mean one thing and I don’t want it right now.”

Mismatched sex drives are common in relationships and can exacerbate the issue.

“Some people are simply far more comfortable with physical touch than others,” explains Hayley.

“It could mean that physical touch isn’t your preferred love language – touch is one way we express affection, but it isn’t the only way.”

It’s also possible that you might recoil for reasons that have nothing at all to do with your partner.

“It could be a reaction to previous trauma, feelings of unattractiveness or wanting a deeper connection from your partner.” 

Alamy
Often, the bristle reaction develops if you think – rightly or not – that the sole motive of a partner’s touch is to initiate sex[/caption]

BE HONEST WITH YOUR PARTNER

Speak up if you find yourself pulling away when your partner touches you.

“Instead of creating a whole story around why you feel the way you do, simply state what is happening and, if you can, why that is.

“Acknowledging the problem opens communication and can help prevent resentment from building over time,” says Hayley.

ESTABLISH YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE

Gary Chapman describes five “love languages” in his book on the topic: touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts and quality time.

You can take a quiz online to find out your love language, both how you give and prefer to receive it.

“Not all of us give and receive love in the same way,” Hayley says.

“If you’ve identified that you like and need more personal space, for example, you can choose to communicate this to your partner and reassure them that this doesn’t mean you like them any less.”

Though it’s not rooted in science, some couples find it helpful to avoid feelings of rejection.

SCHEDULE MORE ME-TIME

You may find yourself withdrawing from your partner, but perhaps this is what you deeply desire anyway.

“Some people have a greater desire for independence within their relationships,” Hayley says.

“This might mean that they choose to spend less time with their partner, or that they want to put time into and nurture other relationships in their life.”

What won’t help your relationship is failing to communicate this to your partner.

“Withdrawing without an explanation could result in them feeling anxious and unloved,” says Hayley.

Try explaining that you do love them, but you need more time alone – and that it is not a reflection on them.

“Provided both partners are understanding of each other’s differing needs, this doesn’t have to be a negative for the relationship, and can actually help foster one based on trust, commitment, happiness and above all, love,” Hayley adds. 

CONNECT WITH YOUR BODY

Getty
Poor body image could be behind your bristle reaction[/caption]

For some people, poor body image can be behind their bristle reaction.

“If you are feeling unattractive, it can be helpful to do an activity that allows you to connect with your body,” suggests Hayley.

It could be as simple as having your hair done or making time to get to an exercise class – even better if you can do this with your partner.

“Feeling good within yourself may make you more open and accepting of touch,” Hayley says.

If you are feeling unattractive, relaying this to your partner may remind them you need more reassurance from them, too.

SHARE THE LOAD

Do you and your partner divide tasks equally when it comes to the kids and household chores?

If not, you might have your answer to the bristle reaction.

After a long day at work, followed by an evening chasing the kids around and doing chores, you could be forgiven for resenting your partner’s touch if you feel they are not pulling their weight.

Consider a conversation with them about working more as a team by saying: “It would mean a lot to me if you helped around the house a bit more.”

This can foster more appreciation towards each other.

You may also be “touched out” – when your capacity for human interaction has been depleted after spending all day with children who need your constant attention.

Using the term can be a reference point that reminds your partner not to take it personally.

PRIORITISE TOUCH EVERY DAY

The bristle reaction was coined by author and host of the Pillow Talks podcast, Vanessa Marin, with a viral TikTok on the subject.

She explained that she and her partner intimately kiss every night to “break the connection between making out and sex”.

The rule is that neither partner can initiate sex during this time.

“This nightly routine has taken the pressure off us to have sex if we start making out,” Vanessa says.

Even if you’re not a touchy-feely person, compromise is important in any relationship.

“Make sure you establish physical contact once a day,” says Hayley.

“You may choose to hold hands as you walk down the street, or to cuddle on the sofa while watching TV to build on that connection with your partner in a way that feels comfortable for you.”

ASK YOURSELF QUESTIONS

Can’t quite get to the bottom of why you still bristle at physical touch from your partner?

You may truly have the ick – when you don’t connect with them physically any more and may even cringe at the idea.

“Ask yourself questions, such as: ‘Would I like them to put more care into their health and appearance?

“Could we have a frank discussion about what I would need to feel excited by them again?’” says Hayley.

“Even if you feel like you have genuinely gone off your partner, before considering ending the relationship, think about why you no longer desire them.”

If possible, it might be a good idea to speak to a licensed therapist or couple’s counsellor together.

“Or else, reach out to a trusted friend or family member to share how you feel and gain support with those emotions,” Hayley says. 

  • Visit Match.com 
  • The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman (£14.99, Moody) is out now
Москва

Ефимов: Объем производства продуктов питания в столице вырос более чем на 38%

Top 10 Animated TV Series of 2023

Reliving the Past through Old Photos

Amsterdam Stunning Sunny Hour Winter 2024 Amsterdam Walking Tour 4K

Beautiful Outdoor Garden Furniture, Garden Library Interior, Hidden Book Nook Garden Design

Ria.city






Read also

Roy Keane bluntly tells Laura Woods ‘not for me’ after she points out Grealish and Barkley’s tunnel antics in FA Cup

CHIMWENDO LAUDS CHAKWERA FOR STANDING BEHIND ‘HUSTLERS’: Says Entrepreneurs, SMEs stimulate economic growth

Japan’s inflation beats forecasts, end of negative rates in sight

News, articles, comments, with a minute-by-minute update, now on Today24.pro

News Every Day

Reliving the Past through Old Photos

Today24.pro — latest news 24/7. You can add your news instantly now — here


News Every Day

Reliving the Past through Old Photos



Sports today


Новости тенниса
ATP

Хачанов улучшил свою позицию в рейтинге ATP



Спорт в России и мире
Москва

Гости Всемирного Фестиваля молодежи примут участие в шахматном турнире Mendeleev Chess



All sports news today





Sports in Russia today

Москва

Гости Всемирного Фестиваля молодежи примут участие в шахматном турнире Mendeleev Chess


Новости России

Game News

Шапки женские вязаные на Wildberries, зима 2024 — новый цвет от 392 руб. (модель 466)


Russian.city


Москва

ENERGY дарит тур в Мексику на выступление Джареда Лето


Губернаторы России
Спартак

«Приятно выигрывать в Москве»: Квартальнов о победе над «Спартаком» в преддверии плей-офф


В Камеруне установят памятник Пушкину

Из Казани по льготному тарифу можно будет улететь в 17 городов России

Событие огромной важности для всех православных произошло в Болхове

Посетительница караоке в центре столицы похитила дорогую шубу


Распространение Клипа, Выступления, Концерта или Песни в Интернете.

Заводы АО "Желдорреммаш" предоставляют рабочие места людям с особенностями здоровья

Совместный Дуэт с Певцом. Запись совместной Песни.

В Карелии начался трехдневный фестиваль «Денис Мацуев представляет: диалог поколений»


Чесноков заявил, что Калинская должна была выигрывать Паолини в двух сетах

Карен Хачанов: «Я стараюсь быть игроком больших матчей, больших турниров. И цель остается прежней – выиграть ТБШ»

Рублёв победил Чжана и пробился во второй круг турнира ATP-500 в Дубае

Хачанов победил Ван Аша и вышел в 1/8 финала турнира ATP в Дубае



Армия Армении ЛГБТ+

Шапки женские вязаные на Wildberries, зима 2024 — новый цвет от 392 руб. (модель 466)

ENERGY дарит тур в Мексику на выступление Джареда Лето

На «Юмор FM» продолжается игра «Это МНЕ?!»


Игорь Маковский и Светлана Хоркина дали старт мероприятиям Года физкультуры и спорта «Россети Центр» и «Россети Центр и Приволжье»

Андрис Лиепа пообщался с учащимися БРХК

Совместный Дуэт с Певцом. Запись совместной Песни.

Виртуальные склоны курорта «Роза Хутор» покорили болельщиков "Игр будущего"


Мэр Москвы рассказал о новых лыжных трассах столицы

Собянин рассказал о планах развития речного транспорта до 2030 года

Пара из Хакасии поженилась на выставке «Россия» в Москве

Школьники РФ и стран СНГ смогут представить проекты на конференции ТПУ



Путин в России и мире






Персональные новости Russian.city
Диана Арбенина

Диана Арбенина сначала извинялась перед соседями за Россию, а теперь возмущена отменой концертов!



News Every Day

1960s USA - Real Street Scenes of Vintage America - Colorized




Friends of Today24

Музыкальные новости

Персональные новости