We in Telegram
Add news
March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010
August 2010
September 2010 October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 June 2015 July 2015 August 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 March 2017 April 2017 May 2017 June 2017 July 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 March 2018 April 2018 May 2018 June 2018 July 2018 August 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 January 2019 February 2019 March 2019 April 2019 May 2019 June 2019 July 2019 August 2019 September 2019 October 2019 November 2019 December 2019 January 2020 February 2020 March 2020 April 2020 May 2020 June 2020 July 2020 August 2020 September 2020 October 2020 November 2020 December 2020 January 2021 February 2021 March 2021 April 2021 May 2021 June 2021 July 2021 August 2021 September 2021 October 2021 November 2021 December 2021 January 2022 February 2022 March 2022 April 2022 May 2022 June 2022 July 2022 August 2022 September 2022 October 2022 November 2022 December 2022 January 2023 February 2023 March 2023 April 2023 May 2023 June 2023 July 2023 August 2023 September 2023 October 2023 November 2023 December 2023 January 2024 February 2024
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28
29
News Every Day |

How to Develop Your Romantic Competence

Different people navigate the complexities of romantic relationships in a variety of different ways, from testing their partner with spilled condiments or asking about a woodpecker, to reminiscing about the good times or attempting to speak their love language (apparently there are seven now, provided they exist at all).

But there is also a set of more tangible skills, known collectively as "romantic competence," which, when properly developed, can serve as tools for building a healthy relationship. Joanne Davila, Ph.D., a professor of clinical psychology at Stony Brook University, and her team of researchers coined the term in 2009, and the approach has grown in popularity since. Here's what to know about the basics of romantic competence, how to develop the necessary skillset, and why it's important.

What is romantic competence?

Simply put, "romantic competence" refers to the ability to engage in intimate love relationships in a healthy, connective way, says Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist focusing on relationships and the author of the forthcoming book The Joy of Imperfect Love: The Art of Creating Healthy, Securely Attached Relationships (March 4, 2024). 

"On a foundational level, the components of romantic competence include the ability to self-reflect, interdependence, and emotional regulation," she says. "However, in my clinical practice, I’ve found that strong romantic competence also requires well-developed skills in the realms of emotional intelligence, connective communication, healthy conflict management, and relationship maintenance skills."

As Davila explains in her 2015 TEDx talk: “We may know what a healthy relationship looks like, but most people have no idea how to get one—and no one teaches us how to do so.” That's where romantic competence comes in.

But, like many other interpersonal skills, those associated with romantic competence take time and effort to develop—which, Manly says, "requires ongoing investment and mindful commitment."

How to develop your romantic competence

There are many factors that influence how people approach relationships, and the same is true of romantic competence. In other words, most relationships don't start with the people involved all being on the same page when it comes to things like meeting each other's emotional needs. Here are a few examples of ways to develop your romantic competence:

Get introspective

One of the key components of romantic competence is the ability to self-reflect, so if this is something you've struggled with in the past, it's time to do some more work. "Partners who develop introspective abilities tend to be less reactive and more aware of how their own strengths and frailties come into play in the relationship," says Manly.

Look out for yourself—and your relationship

Interdependence—which Davila refers to as "mutuality"—involves partners acknowledging and attending to their own needs, and their needs as a couple. "True interdependence fosters a team-oriented attitude that allows each partner—and the relationship—to thrive and expand," Manly says.

Find healthy and productive ways to process your emotions

Emotional regulation is exactly what it sounds like, and something Manly says is critical in intimate relationships. "When one or both partners have a pattern of becoming emotionally disregulated, the relationship itself will feel unsafe," she says.

Keep the lines of communication open

Lastly, this wouldn't be an article about relationships without a section on communication. In this case, it's a concept Manly calls "connective communication," referring to, "the conscious use of verbal and non-verbal behaviors to join with another person."

In addition to being rooted in mutual respect, connection-focused communication requires partners to mindfully engage with each other, with the aim of finding common ground and creating unity rather than division. This requires genuine, active listening, and a conversation taking place without interruptions, verbal abuse, or criticism, she notes.

"When partners are not able to communicate in open, healthy ways, the relationship will stagnate or unravel over time," says Manly. "Connective communication is vital for building intimacy, trust, and safety within a romantic relationship."

Why romantic competence is important in a relationship

As Manly points out, it’s easy to “fall in love,” but it takes work to stay in love. "When we have a high level of romantic competence, we are able to translate loving feelings into loving mindsets and actions that foster lasting love relationships," she explains.

That said, no one's perfect: Even people who have a high level of romantic competence don’t get it “right” all of the time—including ourselves. "However, those who work at earning and maintaining romantic competence find that their relationships are smoother and more joyful over time," says Manly.

Lastly, you don't have to be in a romantic partnership to benefit from developing your romantic competence. "I find that the capacities we need for healthy love relationships also translate into every area of life, like parenting, friendships, [and] work," she says.

Москва

Дума приняла в I чтении законопроект о лимите для переводов без открытия счета

1960s USA - Real Street Scenes of Vintage America - Colorized

Beautiful Outdoor Garden Furniture, Garden Library Interior, Hidden Book Nook Garden Design

Stunning Photo Collection of OLD MONEY - COLORIZED

Top 10 Mystery TV Series of 2023

Ria.city






Read also

BBC Breakfast has a secret second set with an identical red sofa – but it serves a totally different purpose

(Video) Jayden Danns tormented Chelsea in just his second senior game for Liverpool on Sunday

Mets 2024 Positional Outlook: Third Base

News, articles, comments, with a minute-by-minute update, now on Today24.pro

News Every Day

1960s USA - Real Street Scenes of Vintage America - Colorized

Today24.pro — latest news 24/7. You can add your news instantly now — here


News Every Day

Top 10 Mystery TV Series of 2023



Sports today


Новости тенниса
Анна Калинская

Глава ФТР Тарпищев объяснил поражение Калинской нервной усталостью



Спорт в России и мире
Москва

Алименты вратаря сборной России по футболу Сафонова на дочь составят до 3 млн рублей в месяц



All sports news today





Sports in Russia today

Москва

А вдруг ЦСКА и «Ак Барс» сразу вылетят? Расклад на первые серии Кубка Гагарина-2024, который сулит сюрпризы


Новости России

Game News

Состоялся релиз War Sniper — Sniper Elite с танками и дронами


Russian.city


Москва

Производитель металлопрофиля в Лобне усилит показатели благодаря участию в нацпроекте


Губернаторы России
ТПП

Уральская ТПП в рамках сотрудничества с «Институтом Адизеса» провели первое обучение


Хайдаров отреагировал на смерть бизнесмена Гаврилова после операции в его клинике

Шапки женские зимние на Wildberries — скидки от 398 руб. (на новые оттенки)

Писатель из Великих Лук Андрей Канавщиков стал лауреатом премии «Наследие литературы XXI века»

СЛЕД КОРОНАВИРУСНЫХ БИОЛАБОРАТОРИЙ В ПРОВОДАХ ТАНКОВ НАТО. СПЕЦОПЕРАЦИЯ СВО РОССИИ НА УКРАИНЕ, ПОЛЕЗНЫЕ ВЫВОДЫ.


Шнуров предложил Жукову отбирать участников “Новой Фабрики звезд” на боксерском ринге

Распространение Клипа, Выступления, Концерта или Песни в Интернете.

Мизулина заявила, что Моргенштерн может вернуться в Россию

Рэпер ST исполнил хит «Дай ему сил» на церемонии вручения премии «Знание»


«Можно сравнить с «Уимблдоном»: Столяров — о миллиарде просмотров, дисциплинах Игр Будущего и выступлении Крида

Хачанов стал победителем турнира ATP 250 в Дохе

Хачанов обыграл чеха Меншика в финале турнира ATP в Дохе

Чесноков заявил, что Калинская должна была выигрывать Паолини в двух сетах



Шапки женские зимние на Wildberries — скидки от 398 руб. (на новые оттенки)

Путин подписал указ о военно-административном делении России

СЛЕД КОРОНАВИРУСНЫХ БИОЛАБОРАТОРИЙ В ПРОВОДАХ ТАНКОВ НАТО. СПЕЦОПЕРАЦИЯ СВО РОССИИ НА УКРАИНЕ, ПОЛЕЗНЫЕ ВЫВОДЫ.

Виртуальные склоны курорта «Роза Хутор» покорили болельщиков "Игр будущего"


Очистные сооружения в Чувашии будут строить по новому графику

Игорь Маковский и Светлана Хоркина дали старт мероприятиям Года физкультуры и спорта «Россети Центр» и «Россети Центр и Приволжье»

Указ о создании Ленинградского и Московского военных округов подписал Путин

«Динамо» выиграло регулярный чемпионат КХЛ и получило Кубок континента


Дочь магнитогорского "короля ужасов" поделилась воспоминаниями об отце

Производитель металлопрофиля в Лобне усилит показатели благодаря участию в нацпроекте

России хватило всего одной фразы, чтобы привести Абхазию в чувство

Бизнесмен умер после уменьшения желудка в клинике хирурга Хайдарова в Москве



Путин в России и мире






Персональные новости Russian.city
Концерт

Концерт ко Дню Защитника Отечества



News Every Day

Stunning Photo Collection of OLD MONEY - COLORIZED




Friends of Today24

Музыкальные новости

Персональные новости