I barely chat to my best friend since she started dating again – I desperately miss her
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been bumped down the pecking order by my friend after she started dating again. We barely chat at all these days.
I am 38 and my friend is 37. We palled up online a decade ago.
It’s a long-distance thing so we’ve only met a few times, but we used to message one constantly. We share similar tastes and interests.
I’m married and my friend was content to be single, following a failed marriage.
But all that has now changed.
She started a new job, made a new group of friends and has started dating again.
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I’m glad she’s happy. I wouldn’t be a good friend if I wasn’t.
But I desperately miss our chats and feel quite bereft without them.
Do I persevere and try to keep the friendship going? Or accept life moves on, and leave the ball in her court?
DEIDRE SAYS: As your friend is wrapped up in the excitement of new love, it’s easy to feel abandoned.
Accept that the dynamic of your friendship has changed.
But this doesn’t mean you have to give up on the friendship completely.
You can still keep in contact now and again.
But rather than be so reliant on her, make some new friends yourself and take up new interests or hobbies to fill the void.
My support pack Widening Your Social Scene has lots of suggestions to help you get started.
