A Reddit Dad Wants His Wife to Stay in The Kitchen & We Are Fuming
We wish we could celebrate International Women’s Day in peace, but of course a d-bag dad had to come along and ruin it. A mom posted on the AITA subreddit in March 2023 and said she had jaw surgery in Nov. 2022. Her jaw has been wired shut since then (for four months and counting!), and she has “mostly survived on Ensure, blenderized soups, smoothies, and baby food.” Baby food! A 40-year-old woman has had to turn to baby food. Yikes.
“It’s been tough,” she wrote.
Um, that must be the understatement of the year!
During this time (again, four months!), she has continued to do the grocery shopping, make her kid’s breakfast and lunch, and cook dinner for the family most nights.
“Honestly, it’s torture,” she said. “Having to watch and smell it cook when I know I can’t eat it is awful.”
Her husband works full time and “doesn’t really feel like cooking” when he gets home. Do you see where this is going? Is your blood pressure rising yet?
“The other night, I asked if he could make dinner at least a few nights a week, and he got pretty offended,” she said. “He said that since I’m not working (I’m on medical leave), it’s nice to come home to dinner being ready and not having to rush to start it. Last night, I thought I could compromise and get all of the ingredients prepared and ready so he could just do the actual cooking, and he was pretty ticked off all night.”
ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. *Looks around frantically for something to break.*
So this poor little man is saying that after a long hard day at work (eye roll), he needs his 1950s housewife waiting at the door to take off his jacket (reminder: it was a hard day!) and escort him to the table, where a glistening roast chicken awaits? Well guess what! That chicken isn’t the only one getting roasted! While this man rolls up his sleeves and gets ready to dig in, we are doing the same.
This dad is absolutely the proverbial, always-afraid chicken. He’s so scared of making dinner! What if he breaks a sweat after work? What if he steps into a kitchen and his masculinity comes into question? It’s time to shred this chicken up — so where do we start? Perhaps the breast, where his heart should be? Or the legs, since he has none to stand on anyway?
His whole “she’s not working” argument is true chickensh*t. And even if she was “not working,” that doesn’t mean all the meals fall to her.
“Have your husband look up what ‘medical leave’ is,” one commenter wrote. “It doesn’t mean that you take on domestic duties because you’re ‘not working,’ it means you’re off work to heal.”
For clarification, in case this husband is confused by the homophone: “Heal” as in become healthy again. Not “heel” as in the way you command around a dog. Or, apparently, a wife.
“His delight at coming home to a ready-made dinner is more important than your comfort, during a trying time?!” another asked, their jaw likely dropping to the floor like ours did. “He can’t make a damn meal a day, three days a week, to help you cope with your condition?!”
“Medical leave =/= personal chef” another put it simply.
“Medical leave does not equal stay at home wife,” one user added.
And even if she was a SAHM, that doesn’t mean she should have sole meal responsibility. (Although, maybe this husband who wrote his wife a performance review would disagree.)
“Obviously help out as much as you can but this is a fair ask. Most people don’t get to come home to a home cooked meal, that’s a huge privilege. He can help you! If you’re up to making a meal or two a week that’s awesome.”
Oh yeah! Remember when she just asked him to do it sometimes even though it would be more than reasonable to ask him to do it all the time?
While the internet was destroying this [insert mean name of your choosing], the OP did give her hubby some props. Because, ya know, spouses should support each other!
“Other than this one issue, he really is a lovely person. He’s been super supportive, he’s a very hands-on dad, he takes care of all the outside stuff, and he even drove over the border (we’re in Canada) to get the flavor of Ensure I like when it was impossible to find here. It’s just this one issue that’s become a huge deal, and where I think he’s being a huge AH.”
We’re so glad to hear he is helping elsewhere, but that doesn’t make this less wrong. It just shows he has the capability do do what’s right but is choosing not to. And so what if he’s had a long day? If he was a bachelor would he just not eat? If his wife was in the hospital, would he go hungry?
Per usual, Reddit came through with the perfect solution: give him a literal taste of your literal medicine and see how quickly he decides to pitch in.
“If he continues to demand you be his unpaid professional chef, tell him you’re only cooking what you can eat and see how long he lasts on a liquid diet,” one commenter said.
“I’d be cooking a week’s worth of slow cooker stew … and feeding him the same gruel EVERY night if he insisted on home cooked. And then hand him a bunch of meal delivery options, and the catalogue from the supermarket with all the frozen dinner options circled in highlighter.”
While we continue to give Dad a hard time, we send our condolences to his wife, who must be going through such a hard and painful time. We wish her a speedy recovery … and a speedy return to solid food.
Before you go, check out these unbelievable stories about Reddit’s worst dads.