Bachelor Ben Higgins admits he suffered a ‘breakdown’ & is in a ‘low place’ back home living with his parents in Indiana
THE Bachelor star Ben Higgins moved back to Indiana after having a “breakdown”.
Ben – who starred on Bachelor Winter Games – realised he was in a “low place” and was not “thriving.”
The Bachelor’s Ben Higgins admitted having a ‘breakdown’[/caption]He updated fans about where he was at in his life on the original Bachelorette, Trista Sutter’s podcast, Better Etc.
“I am back in Indiana right now because of a breakdown, again, in my life where I don’t know what’s happening,” he admitted.
“I don’t know what this next season of life looks like for me. I’m farther and farther removed from the show, and at the same time, I need to figure out what my life is going to look like and what my legacy is going to be.”
He admitted while his next chapter was “really exciting… it’s also really hard.”
Ben worked hard to stop trying to win approval from others[/caption] Ben rose to fame on season 20 of The Bachelor[/caption] He was in a ‘low place’ and is now in Indiana living with his parents[/caption]“I’m at a low place, I don’t see myself as this thriving figure right now,” Ben explained.
“I’m kind of lamenting and separating myself from a lot of things that I held close.”
Ben then opened up about how his time show and how the adulation built his self-esteem for a short time.
“All of a sudden I go from feeling like I’m an outsider to, over a period of time, having enough people tell me that I’m awesome to start feeling pretty good about [myself],” he explained.
Ben revealed he stole painkillers from his grandad when he was addicted to them[/caption]“I start building an identity around that. I started to really feel like, ‘Oh, my gosh, this is the thing that I was needing to fill me. … I’ll be in the in-group forever.’”
But then as his time on the show became more of a distant memory, his “infatuation” for fame “started to fade” and eventually he “lost” himself.
“I was living not just for other people, but just for other people’s attention,” Ben said.
Then just before the coronavirus pandemic hit, Ben made moves to “divorce [him]self” from needing other people’s approval.
He is now engaged to esthetician, Jessica Clarke[/caption]“It was, selfishly, one of the most unhealthy and best times for me,” he said of the coronavirus quarantine.
“I saw everybody else around me slow down. … What I recognized then is [that] I was measuring myself on everybody else still, more than I knew.”
Trista empathized with Ben and the pair joked they should start a ‘Bachelor’s Anonymous’ to help support reality contestants after they leave the show.
Ben is currently engaged to Jessica Clarke and even though they bought a home together last year, will not move in together until they are married.
He was previously engaged to his Bachelor co-star, Lauren Bushnell[/caption] Their relationship is good and he congratulated her on the birth of her first son in June[/caption]Most read in Entertainment
“The house is empty, but it’s ours! I’ll be living in it and making it into our little home until Ben joins me after the wedding. I can’t wait to share all of the little projects,” Jessica wrote on Instagram announcing their big purchase.
The couple are also abstaining from sex until they are married.
“Based on my past, we talked about it early, especially doing [long] distance. But it wasn’t a hard conversation or a weird one,” Jessica told Us.
“I think as we got more serious, it became a bigger conversation.”
Ben was previously engaged to Lauren Bushnell whom he met on season 20 of The Bachelor.
The pair maintain they still have a good relationship, with Ben even congratulating her on the birth of her first child.
He wrote, “Congrats, what a thing to celebrate!” on her Instagram announcement of the birth of her baby.
Lauren and husband Chris Lane welcomed their first child, a boy called Dutton Walker, on 10 June.