Love expert reveals 15 questions which prove if your relationship is going to last
WE’RE all fans of the blissful contentment that comes with a whirlwind romance – but it’s often difficult to work out in the early days if your new love will stand the test of time.
A relationship expert has revealed that there are ways of telling if the person you’re with is really The One.
Gary W Lewandowski, a professor of psychology at Monmouth University and creator of scienceofrelationships.com, has devised 15 questions that can help you work out if you’ll be with your current partner for the long haul.
He told The Independent that he decided to compile the list because the number one thing he is always asked is: “How do I know if I’m in the right relationship?”
The expert continued: “It is probably the question people have the most but are least equipped to answer themselves.
“When they try to determine, they don’t always know the right questions to ask and focus on the wrong thing.”
Just because you can find good doesn’t mean it is a good relationship
Gary W Lewandowski
The professor added that answering “yes” to these questions – which are based on a mixture of science-backed data and intuition – means your romance is likely to stand the test of time.
If your response is “no” then it brings up the possibility that this will be a shorter relationship than you may have anticipated.
He warned: “Just because you can find good doesn’t mean it is a good relationship.”
But the expert also explained why he didn’t think this was necessarily a bad thing.
The professor said “learning good stuff about relationships is no threat to good relationships” and “if you’re in a mediocre to bad relationship, getting out frees you up to get in a great one”.
So, what are the 15 questions you should be asking yourself if you’re in a relationship?
Answer these to find out if your romance will stand the test of time...
- Does your partner make you a better person, and do you do the same for them?
- Are you and your partner both comfortable with sharing feelings, relying on each other, being close, and able to avoid worrying about the other person leaving?
- Do you and your partner accept each other for who you are, without trying to change each other?
- When disagreements arise, do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity?
- Do you and your partner share decision-making, power and influence in the relationship?
- Is your partner your best friend, and are you theirs?
- Do you and your partner think more in terms of “we” and “us,” rather than “you” and “I”?
- Would you and your partner trust each other with the passwords to social media and bank accounts?
- Do you and your partner have good opinions of each other – without having an overinflated positive view?
- Do your close friends, as well as your partner’s, think you have a great relationship that will stand the test of time?
- Is your relationship free of red flags like cheating, jealousy and controlling behaviour?
- Do you and your partner share the same values when it comes to politics, religion, the importance of marriage, the desire to have kids (or not) and how to parent?
- Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your own needs, desires and goals for each other (without being a doormat)?
- Do you and your partner both have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities?
- Are you and your partner sexually compatible?
Most read in Fabulous
In other relationship news, we told you how a couple celebrated their big day with wedding cake made entirely out of cheese.
We also revealed how a bloke has been mocked for his “lady drawer” containing face wipes, tampons – and a vibrator.
And these are the 2020 sex trends coming to a bedroom near you.