This woman has a lot of dirt on Donald — and she's not afraid of him

OK, so that Melania Trump thing on Thursday was just downright bizarre.

I mean, complaining about all of the “lies” being told about her in the press from her exposure in the Epstein Files? Thanks, Madame First Lady, but literally no one was talking about your friendship with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell – at least not until you called so much attention to it by unilaterally calling a news conference in the White House.

She griped about “the false smears” from people “looking to cause damage to my good name” (good name?) and how they “must stop.” Well, mission accomplished, Melania. They stopped. In fact, they never actually started. The press has much bigger fish to fry looking at the alleged crimes of actual pedophiles rather than someone who had an unfortunate relationship with Epstein’s co-conspirator.

The one thing everyone seems to agree on is that Melania’s mock outrage had little to do with her. There was no gossip, no speculation, no allegations. She might as well have been railing about the White House wait staff. There remains more pure controversy surrounding Amazon’s funding of her documentary.

So yes, we have now entered a realm where Trump’s family members are using the Epstein debacle to distract from… what? The Iran war sort-of ceasefire? Ongoing conjecture about the diminished mental capacity of her husband as he threatens genocide on the Middle East? The fact gas prices continue to skyrocket?

It’s a mystery.

But like all good mysteries, everyone has a theory or two or three surrounding it. Here’s mine: Melania wants to matter again.

The woman is no rocket scientist, but she’s also not quite as dumb as she’s often charged. She understands that she’s the least popular First Lady in American history. Her legacy at this point surrounds having centered a documentary that focused on trying on shoes and baring her ankles, and once wearing a jacket that was inscribed on the back with, “I Really Don’t Care. Do U?”

I’m thinking that maybe, just maybe, she was struck by a momentary twinge of conscience that inspired her to assure the world she’s not some Epstein fiasco stooge, and that she wants Congress to call in Epstein survivors to testify under oath.

This doesn’t, of course, mean that Melania handled her Thursday announcement in a particularly effective or appropriate manner. Whoever is overseeing her personal marketing is doing her no favors. For one thing, you don’t just go around denying things you aren’t at the present time accused of, unless, of course, you’re trying to get out in front of a potential scandal to control the narrative.

Ah yes, there’s that.

A lot of the chatter at week’s end centered on the likelihood that there was something big coming down the pike and Melania wanted to be on the record covering her own backside. But what could that be?

One thing that I surely appreciate is the rogue aspect of this. It seems pretty clear that Melania didn’t seek or receive administration approval – or that of her husband in particular – before deciding to do this. That’s sort of delicious when you consider that literally no one else in the president’s orbit has that kind of power. She is alone in Trump’s sphere in being fireproof.

I think.

Given this fact, Melania carries an extraordinary amount of power via having immunity from dismissal. I’ve always thought she held all the cards in that marriage. It’s far easier to imagine her filing for divorce than him.

We also have to believe the First Lady knows more about what’s contained among the Epstein Files redactions as well as in those files that have yet to be released. Ergo, she holds a lot of cards.

Was what she said on Thursday about keeping herself out of trouble while prepping to throw her husband beneath the bus if necessary? It’s doubtful, but possible. I would have been significantly more impressed had Melania stepped up to the lectern of the Grand Foyer and said, “If I’m being honest, my husband should be forced to testify at a Congressional hearing. He knew Epstein better than anyone.”

I know. When hell freezes over. But a man can dream.

Let’s remember that this is the first First Lady in history who doesn’t live at the White House fulltime. She’s also rarely anywhere close to her husband’s side, even when he needs propping up. Their marriage is, by all appearances, one of convenience, if that. From Melania’s perspective, it looks far more like one of inconvenience.

Melania no doubt appreciates the perks of being married to the most powerful man in the world while at the same time shunning the duties. Forget sleeping in the same bed; I’d be surprised if they’ve slept in the same wing over the past decade.

This is all a longwinded way of saying that Melania’s priorities are unlikely to be completely, or perhaps even partially, aligned with her husband’s. She’s in the Melania business, not the Melania and Donald business. She knows many more specifics about her husband’s past behavior than we do, and maybe that fills her with sufficient disgust to leave him twisting if it ever came down to it. With any luck, it will.

We will probably know soon enough why Melania said what she said on Thursday. The least likely reason is that she’s legitimately worried about her own reputation, because let’s be clear: the people and the media don’t give a single damn about her relationship with Epstein and Maxwell. What they care about is how it might play into Trump’s culpability.

What I appreciated in Melania’s decision to go public with something that was well off the public’s concern meter was the sheer balls it took to do it. If this kind of behavior were to evolve, we may need to start treating her with something resembling respect

Ray Richmond is a longtime journalist/author and an adjunct professor at Chapman University in Orange, CA.