Five Quick Things: Finally, an Iran-Free 5QT!

I decided, since there is a… ahem! “ceasefire” in the Iran war, that I’d do something different this week. Which is to banish Iran from the 5QT.

If you want that stuff, check out yesterday’s column. I don’t think much of anything has changed since it went up. (READ MORE: It May Not Be a Ceasefire. It Might Be a Strategic Pause.)

We’re on to other things. Starting with…

1. Melania Weighs In on the Epstein Thing

You probably saw this on Thursday…

???? BREAKING: In a massive moment, First Lady Melania Trump demands Congress allow Epstein’s survivors to PUBLICLY TESTIFY about what happened to them, saying Epstein did NOT act alone

WOW! This is about to ROCK DC

“Now is the time for Congress to ACT. Epstein was NOT alone.… pic.twitter.com/pHxZM8PwdU

— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) April 9, 2026

Is it a bombshell that Melania Trump would go off like this and demand that Congress platform Epstein’s victims?

The thing about the idea of having a hearing and getting testimony from the women in the harem Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell built is that a lot of them got paid to sign an NDA. Then, this scandal turns into… well, what it’s turned into, and some of them have a lot to say but can’t say it. (RELATED: Ghislaine Maxwell and Bill Clinton’s ‘Close’ Relationship: They ‘Got Along Terribly Well’)

But if you subpoena them to testify at a Congressional hearing, what does that do to the NDA?

Hey Grok, what effect does a Congressional subpoena have on a non-disclosure agreement? Does it supersede an NDA?

Yes, a Congressional subpoena generally supersedes a private non-disclosure agreement (NDA). A recipient of a valid congressional subpoena has a legal obligation to comply (by producing documents or testifying), and an NDA does not provide a valid basis for refusing to do so.

NDAs are private contracts between parties. They cannot override or nullify Congress’s constitutional authority to issue subpoenas as part of its investigative and legislative powers. Federal law and congressional subpoena power take precedence over such agreements.

Well, there you go.

The thing to remember is that not all of the “victims” of Epstein and Maxwell’s recruiting drives were underage girls. They were of age, they knew what they were doing, they were getting something out of, essentially, selling their bodies in service of his various sexual/influence honey pot schemes, and they took a nice check to go away when they were ready to get out (or when they were getting cut). That’s why we don’t have a whole lot from most of them.

And that’s probably not going to change based on Melania’s statement Thursday.

On the other hand, there are undoubtedly some who do have some juicy/damaging things to say, maybe about Epstein, but more likely about his clients and confederates, which we’ve not heard because of those NDAs.

She’s getting involved in this because the Epstein mob has attempted to tie her to him, going so far as to claim that it was Epstein who introduced her to Trump. She did have one nice email she sent to Maxwell one time, and that has come out, but Melania is forcefully denying she ever had a relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.

And this is her doubling down, because she knows or at least suspects that if the subpoenas come and wipe out the NDAs, what will tumble forth is a whole lot of nasty dirt on people who’ve been critics of her husband for a long time.

The Epstein scandal is about a 98.4 percent Democrat scandal. Virtually all of his clients and confederates were Democrats, including some very well-known heavy hitters in left-wing politics and advocacy. Maybe a fresh round of testimony from people not previously heard from might make that point clear.

At that point, Melania probably figures, we’ll see the end of this chatter trying to connect her to Epstein.

2. Canada Is Too Far Gone

I know you’ve seen this…

WATCH: Canadian Lawmaker Despairs at Fate of ‘MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+’ People

NDP MP Leah Gazan blasts Canada’s 2026 budget over sunset cuts tied to Indigenous programs.

“They provided $0 to deal with the ongoing genocide of MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+,” she said.

“Rates of violence are… pic.twitter.com/U5hnvFVSju

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 9, 2026

I can actually tell you what that alphabet salad coming out of that scowling woman’s mouth is. What she’s referring to when she unloads the MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+ acronym is the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, Girls, Two-Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, and + (additional identities) community.

And yes, you have to be a certifiable stupid communist to subject your audience to that.

Canada is now more or less officially the Romper Room of countries. Canadian conservatives have been warning us for years about the collapse of their institutions and the political fallout from that collapse, and now it has gone critical. (RELATED: Secession in Alberta and the ‘Other-ing’ of Conservatives in Canada)

The public did what they could to try to arrest the country’s decline. In the last round of parliamentary elections, the Liberals — that’s the “center-Left” party in Canada — lost their majority, though they still get to govern because they made an alliance with the hard-Left parties and specifically the utterly insane New Democrat Party. The lunatic in the video clip above is an NDP member of Canada’s parliament.

But in recent weeks and months, five members of Canada’s parliament elected as Conservatives have “crossed the floor,” switching to Liberal Party. The latest happened Thursday, when Marilyn Gladu flipped. The Liberals are about to regain their outright majority, which will put the wannabe tyrant Mark Carney in a position to govern totally unfettered. (RELATED: Carney’s Canada Is China’s Vassal)

What does that look like? Well, last week they started a national gun buyback program, and it hasn’t gone well, so things are about to escalate…

Canada Law Enforcement Set To ‘Begin The Collection’ Of Prohibited Firearms

Canada’s gun buyback deadline passed March 31. Compliance is 2.5%. Owners must deactivate, surrender, or export targeted firearms or risk a knock on the door. pic.twitter.com/1UG2WPlEip

— matrixbot (@thematrixb0t) April 4, 2026

It’s very tempting to absolutely ignore Canada. On the whole, they haven’t been serious people for a long time now. But this is starting to look like something more than just an insignificant, minor country sharing a border with us — it’s turning into an object lesson.

You can say that Trump’s belligerence toward Canada sank the Conservatives in the last election. Lots of people have. Except that Canada has been getting worse for a long time before Trump even came down that escalator in Manhattan.

3. Democrats Make War on Take-Out Food in Colorado

This is one of the stupidest things you will ever see. Milt Harris at RVIVR.com has the story…

It’s nice to know that the Democrats in Colorado have their priorities straight. There are endless things that should concern them, but two of them have decided that the best way to spend their time and waste taxpayers’ money is to focus their efforts on the ever-present danger of getting an extra paper napkin, condiment, or plastic utensil.

That’s right, Democratic Colorado State Senator Lisa Cutter and Democratic Colorado State Representative Meg Froelich introduced the legislation on March 24. If passed, it will take effect at the start of 2027.

As unbelievable as it sounds, these two have proposed legislation to restrict restaurants’ ability to provide complimentary napkins, utensils, and condiments to customers in the name of protecting the environment.

Bill SB26-146 would prohibit retail food establishments and third-party food delivery services from providing single-use food service ware to customers unless the customer specifically requests or confirms that they want it, according to the bill’s text.

According to the bill, “single-use serviceware” is defined as an item that “a retail food establishment or third-party food delivery service provides to a customer to assist the customer in food … designed to be used once and then discarded.”

The bill specifically covers non-food items such as napkins, utensils, condiments, and straws, among others.

I’m with you. I’m seeing this story, and now I’ve got to know who Lisa Cutter and Meg Froelich are. Or better put, I already know who they are, and I just need to see proof that I’m right.

Aaaaaand here is Lisa Cutter…

And here is Meg Froelich…

That’s from her bio at the Center for Climate Integrity website, where it says she “is passionate about preserving Colorado’s air, land and water, and has fought Climate Change through increased energy efficiency and by tackling pollution.”

From her Wikipedia…

Prior to entering politics, Froelich worked as a producer for CBS News, A&E Networks, and PBS. Froelich was the co-producer, writer, and director of Strong Sisters, a documentary about female legislators in Colorado. She served as director of the Colorado chapter of NARAL Pro-Choice America and executive director of the Colorado Democratic Party.

You’re going to get stupid bills like this running through Congress if these people win the midterms. They will try to pass a nationwide ban on restaurants tossing napkins and plastic forks and knives into your to-go bag at the drive-through or pickup window.

That’s how insane these busybody AWFLs are. And the Democrats’ male politicians are a collection of abject betas wholly incapable of reining them in because they’re so utterly morally compromised on multiple levels that…

Oh, you don’t know what I’m talking about? Fine. I’ll show you a perfect example. (RELATED: Feminism, the Nose-Ring Theory, and Our Potential Extinction)

4. Swalwell

You didn’t think I could do an Iran-Free 5QT without talking about this flaming nincompoop, did you? Of course, I couldn’t. If you’ve been under a rock and haven’t seen the latest on Fang Fang Bang Bang, here it is.

NEW: Eric Swalwell will soon face s*xual harassment accusations from his former staffers, according to lawyer and activist @CheyenneHuntCA.

Hunt says she is working with multiple women to expose his “pattern of manipulation.”

One woman says Swalwell makes all his interns,… pic.twitter.com/5tSenj8iZt

— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) April 6, 2026

Breitbart’s John Nolte, at the end of a great summary of the latest Swalwell follies, has this to say…

Normally, I’d be pretty disgusted with Cheyenne Hunt floating the rumor that possibly-perhaps-sometime-soon allegations of sexual misconduct will be forthcoming, even if a Democrat is the target. I really do try to be fair that way. But this is a delicious piece of karma for Swalwell, the fang-fangster who has never heard a lie about President Trump without running to the corporate media to herald and trumpet it. Swalwell is a creep and a liar, and if a lie destroys his political ambitions, he’s got that coming… and then some.

Nobody thinks this is a lie, of course. Virtually everybody who knows Eric Swalwell recognizes what an absolute creep he is. Cheyenne Hunt, the leftist activist who blew up this scandal in the first place, claims it’s been known for a decade that he can’t keep it in his pants.

Swalwell is the perfect guy for the Democrats to have thrown out there as the carrier of their more bizarre claims about Donald Trump over the past several years. The fact that he’s as morally compromised as he is means (1) he’s not a guy who’s going to hold back out of some sense of propriety or concern for his reputation, (2) if he ever did decide to grow a conscience it’s pretty easy to get him back in line given all the dirt they’ve got on him, and (3) if it all goes wrong, he’s completely expendable as a not-so-bright white dude. So they gave him dirty work to do on Trump, and when he sought to parlay that into their nomination for president in 2020, they laughed him out of the race. (RELATED: The Women Who Will Haunt Gavin Newsom’s Presidential Campaign)

Now he wants to be governor, and that’s a little more complicated. They don’t have a lot else; let’s face it, Katie Porter is even worse than Swalwell is from an electability standpoint, and it turns out there are a couple of pretty good Republican candidates running in California’s jungle primary. It seems impossible that the CAGOV race could flip red, but there were polls showing Steve Hilton and Chad Blanco occupying the first two spots, and the umpteen Democrats running were splitting up the rest of the vote, with Swalwell finishing best in an unimpressive third place.

So now, finally, his own party seems interested in taking him out. And it’s entirely likely they might.

Eric Swalwell is a political beta male. He might be a sexual alpha predator, if only in a hookup sense, but it’s the lack of moral standing that makes it impossible for him to wield any real power within that party. He’s compromised.

If you look around, you will see that’s true of the vast majority of the higher-profile male Democrat politicians around the country. My theory, which I’ll confess is pretty new, and I’ve not fully tested it, is that this is a major — if not THE major — factor in the Dems’ hard matriarchal turn of late. That party has been feminized, and its moderating forces stripped away, because it no longer can produce male politicians with traditional convictions.

I mean, how can you when you want to turn boys into girls and Trump Derangement Syndrome is your sole political currency? What self-respecting male would be willing to lead a party like that?

5. The Burger Mural of Salina, Kansas

Finally, I have this. From a Facebook post by the Pacific Legal Foundation…

Salina, Kansas has spent over $800,000 in taxpayer money trying to force a local restaurant owner to paint over a mural — because it includes burgers. Pacific Legal Foundation filed an amicus brief defending his First Amendment rights at the Tenth Circuit.

Steve Howard has run the 100-year-old Cozy Inn, a burger joint with six seats and three menu items for years. When Salina began to encourage murals downtown, Steve hired a local artist to paint a mural with UFO-shaped burgers. The city said this violated their signage laws.

City officials said that by including burgers, the mural counted as a sign. Steve paused work on the mural, applied, for a sign permit, and kept running the Cozy Inn. Salina left his permit application on indefinite hold, so Steve decided to sue.

Steve claims the city violated his First Amendment rights by censoring him based on the content of his mural. Salinas has no objective standard to distinguish a mural from a sign and uses this rule to silence creative expression from business owners.

A federal district court already ruled in Steve’s favor, calling the City’s mural-vs-sign distinction “arbitrary” and “discriminatory.” Salina appealed to the 10th Circuit anyway. Now we’re asking the court to protect the expressive rights of this small business owner.

Here’s the full link on PLF’s website. A picture of the half-finished mural…

Looks like it would be a pretty cool mural if the city would let the guy finish it. And apparently he’s going to be able to.

So if you’re ever in Salina, maybe give these guys a visit. Apparently, you can’t miss the place; the odor of grilled onions spreads several blocks away.

READ MORE from Scott McKay:

It May Not Be a Ceasefire. It Might Be a Strategic Pause.

The ‘Real’ Must Triumph Over the Fake — In Iran and Elsewhere

Five Quick Things: Bye, Pam