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Kamilla Karthigesu Says Pre-Game Alliances Left Her With 'No Chance' on 'Survivor 50' (Exclusive)

Kamilla Karthigesu was one of three players eliminated from Survivor 50 during a controversial (and historical) “Blood Moon” twist, which split the remaining castaways into three groups and sent each to Tribal Council. Despite sensing that something was off, she ultimately found herself on the wrong side of the vote and was blindsided.

In her exit interview with Men’s Journal, Kamilla opens up about the moments leading up to her elimination, including conversations that didn’t make it to air—like a risky Shot in the Dark exchange she made in an attempt to build trust with Stephenie LaGrossa Kendrick. She also sheds light on how pre-game alliances shaped the game and why she believes they ultimately left her with "no chance" of winning.

Scroll down to read the full interview with Kamilla.

Men's Journal: Hi, Kamilla. I'm really bummed to be talking to you right now, but how are you feeling today?

Kamilla Karthigesu: I’m good. I’m having a great time. This is all good fun, all of this.

Men's Journal: Did you feel confident going into Tribal that the three of you were locked in? Was anything off?

Kamilla Karthigesu: There are a couple of things that were off, but I was trying to tell myself, "Don’t get paranoid. Maybe you’re just blowing this up in your head." For example, when the three of us women were the last ones standing—and it was edited a little differently; we were there significantly longer than everyone else—I thought Jonathan [Young] at some point was like, "Hang in there, Chrissy [Hofbeck]. Hang in there, Steph." Wow. Okay, me? And then I thought, "Oh, maybe Jonathan’s playing 3D chess and he wants them to feel comfortable. Maybe he’s trying to do a secret alliance with them against them with me." Now I know what happened. I’m lucky. But yeah, there were a couple of small things. I mean, Chrissy just rolling over and dying—I was like, "That’s not how she plays." So I immediately went over to Jonathan and I’m like, "Hey, I’m the decoy vote. Don’t actually write my name down today." That conversation was kind of shown where I’m like, "You’re not actually writing my name down." He’s like, "No, I would never. Don’t joke about that." I’m like, "That’s a really weird reaction to this." But I thought, "Don’t get paranoid. Maybe that’s just how Jonathan is." It was really my bad for not being able to learn how to read Jonathan. I probably should have talked more to him in the first couple of days because maybe I would have been able to read him better.

Men's Journal: So you did know you were the decoy vote? I'm sure you weren't thrilled about that.

Kamilla Karthigesu: No, I was down. There was a moment where me and Tiff [Ervin] are sitting on the hammock together and I’m like, "I’m finally going to get to see my name written down on Survivor, because I’ve never seen anyone write my name down before." And Tiff was like, "You’re crazy. You should never be excited to see your name written down." I’m like, "I’m just caught up in it all." There’s so much strategy happening this season. I was excited.

Men's Journal: Did it come down to that pre-game alliance he had with the old school people?

Kamilla Karthigesu: I believe so. Mike [White] went on a journey and learned about this pre-game alliance from Colby [Donaldson], and then, bam, them three were in that supposed pre-game alliance. Also, one of them talked to me after the season was over and told me the names of everyone and told me that I had no chance. So, yeah, I think it was that. Unfortunately, but whatever.

Men's Journal: You had a huge target in the preseason. The fact that you made it this far, considering they just saw you play, is still pretty good.

Kamilla Karthigesu: I was surprised that when we swapped to Kalo, I was like, "Damn, there’s [Rick] Devens and Cirie [Fields] and Rizo. [Velovic]. They just need to convince Charlie [Davis] or Jonathan and I’m gone." Then once we all locked in—Dee [Valladares], great job on pulling everyone together quickly—then I was like, "Okay, wow, I’m not going home with my first Tribal."

Men's Journal: Did you feel like those three were your alliance going into the merge?

Kamilla Karthigesu: It wasn’t necessarily that I felt locked in with them, but they gave me access to more alliances than siding with Charlie or Jonathan. And to be fair, with Devens, I didn’t know how close he was with Christian [Hubicki] and Emily [Flippen]. I knew Christian and Emily are friends in real life—but I don’t know much about Blood on the Clocktower or RHAP. I didn’t know that they weren’t like friends in that way. Devens doesn’t really bring me anyone either. Jonathan doesn’t bring me people that I want to work with. And Charlie brings me no one because his closest buddy was Mike, and Mike’s gone. But Rizo gives me access, if he’s telling the truth, to at least Genevieve [Mushaluk]. He lets me in on a group that has a common target of getting Aubry [Bracco] out. Cirie gives me access to Ozzy [Lusth], which I thought would be very cool because I want to play with people who are pretty different from me. I felt like that group would give me access to better options at the merge.

Men's Journal: After the Charlie blindside, did you feel like Jonathan really got over it?

Kamilla Karthigesu: It’s a damn shame they didn’t show us nighttime returning back from Tribal Council. As soon as Charlie’s torch was snuffed, I turned to Jonathan and I told him we saved him. We get back to camp and I tell him all the things that Charlie has told me about him—which I found out once I got voted out were true. And Jonathan was just yelling, "I didn’t say that to Charlie! I never said that!" He was full-on yelling. I wanted to be like, "You’re yelling at the wrong person," but I’m playing Survivor, so I can’t say that. That’s just going to escalate. But he was upset hearing about the things that Charlie was saying to him, so I thought maybe he genuinely thought that we saved him from Charlie trying to gun for him.

Men's Journal: Were there a lot of conversations that we missed?

Kamilla Karthigesu: Yeah. There’s conversations on our starting tribe; we were talking strategy with Coach [Wade], Mike, Charlie, Dee, Tiff, Chrissy. Chrissy let me know that she wanted to target Dee and Tiff pretty early on. Jonathan was doing a little suspicious thing that made me wary of both him and Devens. And it’s like, we already got these pre-gaming allegations that Mike told us about. Jonathan is now this suspicious guy—how hard was he pre-gaming? Is this pre-gaming thing even real? We get to the swapped beach and he’s just locked in with Devens and we don’t know why. Charlie and me and all of us try to ask him, "Why is Devens locked in? Why are we with Devens and why are we not picking anyone else?" and his only response was, "Just trust me, Devens with us." That is a very suspicious thing to say when you already have pre-gaming allegations going against you. I was actually trying to get Jonathan out.

Men's Journal: Did you guys consider pushing Jonathan out at the Charlie vote or this vote?

Kamilla Karthigesu: The Charlie vote, I was trying to get Jonathan out, but people didn't believe I said that there was going to be a swap tomorrow. "He's not going to be playing with us, so get him out. We don't need him." But everyone was like, "Oh, but if we have another challenge together, we’re screwed." And I wanted to be like, "Well, then we can go for Charlie or Rizo the next time."

Men's Journal: Did you talk to Stephenie at all?

Kamilla Karthigesu: Oh my God, I did. I actually pulled her aside the morning before the challenge—I went with her and Devens—and I was like, "Stephenie, I just want you to know, I don’t want you to think I’m coming to you last minute." Stephenie was the only person I did this to. "I want to work with you." Once we got swapped together, I proposed a little trade offer with her. I’m like, "I know we haven’t had that much time to solidify an alliance. So if you’re sketched out about me, I’ll give you my Shot in the Dark. We’ll trade Shot in the Darks so you can have mine, knowing that I’m not going to play mine, and then I’ll have yours, so I know you’re not writing my name down." I was saying all this hopefully thinking that she would be like, "Oh, you can't play other people's Shot in the Darks. That's not a rule." I was like, "No pressure to make a decision right now. If you feel like we’re really locked in, we don’t need to do this. But if you are sketched out by me, I’m down to do this trade." Right before we get pulled to go to Tribal Council, she comes back and we quickly do the exchange. I put the Shot in the Dark in my backpack so no one sees it—it had to be really fast.

Men's Journal: Why didn't we see this Shot in the Dark trade? Is there anything else you wish we saw more of?

Kamilla Karthigesu: There was the Shot in the Dark trade, me trying to get out Jonathan, me not being the swing vote for Rizo and Charlie. Honestly, I had a pretty rough merge. I had a lot of fun in the tribe portions of the game, but at the merge, I made this big mistake of having conversations with people for too long. Instead of trying to have many conversations with all 17 people, I kind of picked a few and was like, "Let me go deep with these." If you didn’t work the room in those first couple of hours, I think you were kind of screwed. Later in the day, I would go up to a group of people and then everyone would scatter. I was like, "Oh, I messed up. It’s too late for me, isn’t it?"

Men's Journal: Did you have any conversations with Joe [Hunter]?

Kamilla Karthigesu: I tried to. There was a point where him and Aubry were sitting on the beach and they were talking together. I come over with maybe Rizo or Tiff or Ozzy and we sit down next to them. The two people I came with are talking to each other, and I’m leaning over trying to make eye contact with Joe because I want to talk to him. I heard from Rick and Cirie that he might be struggling with what happened on 48, so I wanted to clear the air. But he never made eye contact with me. I guess he was too busy talking to Aubry.

Men's Journal: Do you think Kyle [Fraser] going out helped or hurt your game?

Kamilla Karthigesu: It’s possible that if Kyle was still in the game, they’d be like, "Don’t let her get anywhere. What if her and Kyle end up together? Get her out now." It’s possible Cirie, Devens, Rizo—them three vote for me, and all they have to do is pull in either Charlie or Jonathan and I’m gone. Maybe Kyle not being there lowered the threat level.

Men's Journal: In the preseason, you told me you wanted to work with Coach. What were those conversations like?

Kamilla Karthigesu: My conversations with Coach were lovely. I was like, "Coach, I want you to tell your stories around camp. Tell us about the Amazon. Tell us about how you went from being number one trumpet player in the world to leading the Susanville Symphony." We talked about the Susanville Symphony for like an hour at three in the morning instead of sleeping. I really liked talking to him. Even strategy-wise, he felt safe enough to come up to me and be like, "I want Dee gone."

Men's Journal: Going into the merge, who were you targeting?

Kamilla Karthigesu: I immediately wanted to talk to Genevieve because Rizo said he was close with Genevieve and I needed to confirm it. This guy—he’s going to be lying. I need to confirm this. Genevieve was like, "No, I’m good with Rizo." So I’m like, "The friend of your friend—the friend of my friend, let’s be friends." Hearing from Rizo and them, it sounded like Aubry was going to be someone that everyone agreed on getting out. I was like, "Oh, let me join this new group of people. Everyone’s so focused on getting one person out, maybe I can slide under the radar for a couple of votes." Unfortunately, I go back to Tiffany and Tiffany’s like, "No, I love Aubry." And I’m like, "Oh yeah, that’s right, they had that connection."

Men's Journal: I can't believe we lost both you and Genevieve on the same night. That was rough.

Kamilla Karthigesu: National day of mourning for Canada.

Men's Journal: You have another season in you, right?

Kamilla Karthigesu: I’ll play Survivor when I’m 40. I’m down to play when I’m 50. If the show’s still going, I’ll play. I need a little break for now, because I don’t know how I feel about pre-gaming and all that stuff. Also, anyone watching this, if you’re ever on another season of Survivor, slide into my DMs—let’s make a pre-game alliance. I need a break.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Related: Colby Donaldson Reveals Risky 'Survivor 50' Plan That Didn’t Happen: 'The Whole Game Changes' (Exclusive)

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