I lost my daughter to sanctuary policies. My senators are too cowardly to talk to me
My family and I are lifelong Illinoisans. We are now living each day with the consequences of what I believe are misguided sanctuary city and state policies in our state. Our top government leaders—Democratic Sens. Dick Durbin and Tammy Duckworth, along with Democratic Gov. JB Pritzker—have supported these policies, often without what many would consider meaningful guardrails. Too often there has been no direct engagement from any of these leaders or acknowledgment of the victims who live with the real-world consequences of sanctuary polices.
My daughter Katie was killed at age 20 on January 19, 2025, in an incident that should never have happened. She and four of her friends were stopped at a red light in Urbana when they were rear-ended at nearly 80 miles per hour. The driver—previously deported, driving drunk, operating under an alias, and with a record that raised serious concerns—was able to remain in the country and on the road.
The impact was so severe that first responders had to pry Katie and the other girls from the wreckage. Katie was killed at the scene. Another young woman died in the hospital the next day. The three others in the car suffered serious injuries. What should have been an ordinary moment at a traffic light became an irreversible tragedy.
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That is the reality behind what are often abstract policy debates, including those surrounding sanctuary city and state policies.
At the end of March, I encountered that disconnect firsthand.
On March 25, 2026, I traveled to Washington, D.C. to testify before the Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution. Sen. Durbin—one of Illinois’ senators—was part of that broader committee process. Yet it was my other senator, Tammy Duckworth, whom I encountered outside the hearing rooms at the U.S. Capitol.
I introduced myself and explained why I was there. I told her about my daughter—an innocent victim in a case that raises serious questions about sanctuary city and state policies she has supported.
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Her response surprised me. She told me that she was unaware of Katie’s story.
Unaware. Fourteen months after her death, a United States senator, who represents me in Congress, was still unfamiliar with an incident that profoundly affected one of her constituents.
I chose not to explain my situation further at that moment—not out of disrespect, but out of principle.
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Elected officials have a responsibility to understand the real-world impact of the policies they support. That responsibility should not fall only on grieving families.
I told Sen. Duckworth that if she wanted to better understand my situation, she could take the time to learn about what happened and reach out to me directly. I would be open to that conversation.
What followed were calls from the senator’s staff offering condolences, and later a request for my email address so the senator could send a letter. I declined. A form letter, while perhaps well-intentioned, is not the same as direct engagement or a meaningful effort to understand.
At this point, I remain open to a genuine conversation with Sen. Duckworth, though experience makes it difficult to predict if that will ever happen.
Unfortunately, this was not an isolated experience.
For more than 14 months, Sen. Durbin has not publicly acknowledged Katie’s story—no statement, no outreach, no recognition.
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That silence continued even when I sat just feet away from him during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing for over two hours last month. During that time, Katie was not mentioned or explained by him —even as other senators took a moment to recognize her life.
That absence is difficult to understand.
For years, Illinois officials have supported sanctuary city and state policies with an avowed emphasis on compassion and protection. Those goals matter. But what is often missing from the discussion is a full accounting of the risks and unintended consequences those policies may carry.
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And now, we are seeing another heartbreaking loss.
The tragic killing of 18-year-old Loyola University freshman Sheridan Gorman in Chicago last month is another life taken too soon—another family facing unimaginable grief. I take no satisfaction in drawing connections, but it reinforces a concern I have raised before: when the consequences of sanctuary city and state policies are not fully acknowledged or examined, there is a risk that preventable tragedies may continue.
What is most difficult is not simply disagreement over policy, it is the feeling that the human impact of these outcomes is not always fully recognized.
For the families and friends left behind, the loss does not fade with time or headlines. It settles into the quiet moments—the empty seat at the table, the milestones that will never be reached, the conversations that will never happen. Much of that grief is carried silently.
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What makes that burden heavier is not only when acknowledgment is withheld or minimized, but when these tragedies are contextualized in ways that shift focus away from the loss itself. When the lives of those taken are treated as secondary to broader political arguments, or when responsibility is redirected rather than accepted, it deepens the sense of distance between leaders and the people they serve.
Too often, those who have advanced or defended these policies are reluctant to fully grapple with their consequences. Instead, there is a tendency to reframe, to point elsewhere, or to emphasize competing narratives—rather than to pause and accept responsibility where it is due.
That is not leadership. It reflects a more cynical form of politics—one that families experience in a deeply personal way.
Families who have lost loved ones deserve more. They deserve acknowledgment that is direct and sincere. They deserve leaders who are willing to confront difficult outcomes honestly, even when it is uncomfortable, and to take responsibility for the positions they have advanced.
A basic understanding and acknowledgment of lives lost—of families forever changed—should not be difficult. It should not depend on politics. It should be a starting point for reflection and, when necessary, reassessment.
At the heart of this issue is a broader question about responsibility. Public policy should strive to balance compassion with accountability. It should remain open to evaluation, especially when lives are affected.
That is what thoughtful leadership requires.
Too often, however, political realities—maintaining coalitions, shaping narratives, and defending existing positions—can make that kind of reflection more difficult. When that happens, the distance between policymakers and the people affected by their decisions can grow.
This is not about partisanship. It is about responsibility and responsiveness.
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When policies, including sanctuary city and state policies—have real-world consequences, those outcomes deserve acknowledgment. When patterns raise concerns, they deserve careful consideration. And when lives are lost, they deserve to be recognized with sincerity and care.
As my family continues to live with this loss, that distance has never felt more real.
The question is whether it will remain—or whether those in positions of authority are willing to close it through genuine engagement, accountability, and reflection.
Because ultimately, leadership is not only about the policies one supports, but about the willingness to confront their outcomes with honesty and humanity.