From selling out to the US to admitting green-power failures to aiding the war on Iran, the bloc is wearing out its knee pads at a record pace
Hey, good news! The EU has found a new source of desperately needed gas amid the current energy crunch. The bad news? It’s in the US. So it will serve America, first. With Europe getting any sloppy seconds that Daddy Trump feels like overcharging it for when he isn’t threatening to invade.
It’ll be the French energy multinational, TotalEnergies, serving it up to the US like a waiter at a Montmartre bistro, forced to smile and bow while the guest pockets the silverware.
Even better? The company wasn’t even supposed to be over there doing that. They had planned to be building offshore windfarms. But instead, Trump’s Department of the Interior now says that they made a deal with the French company to spend roughly a billion dollars investing in American gas operations in exchange for getting about the same amount of cash back for agreeing to say goodbye to its green wind dreams in the US.
Team Trump calls it an “innovative agreement driven by President Donald J. Trump’s Energy Dominance Agenda.”But the CEO of the European company is making the cucking sound like a big win.
“TotalEnergies is pleased to sign this settlement agreements with the DOI and to support the Administration’s Energy Policy. Considering that the development of offshore wind projects is not in the country’s interest, we have decided to renounce offshore wind development in the United States, in exchange for the reimbursement of the lease fees,” said TotalEnergies CEO Patrick Pouyanne, while adjusting his knee pads, before continuing to service Trump via official US government press release.
“Furthermore, these agreements, under which we will reinvest the refunded lease fees to finance the construction of the 29 Mt Rio Grande LNG plant and the development of our oil and gas activities, allows us to support the development of US gas production and export.”
Hold up. So this company gave the US about a billion dollars in exchange for access to green energy. Then the US gave them back their money. And now they’re reinvesting it to serve Trump’s agenda? And publicly “pleased” about it?
Well, good riddance to – er, I mean, so much for Europe’s green dreams, I guess. But at least it means they’ll get easier access to more desperately needed LNG, right? Since they’re the ones doing the heavy lifting. Not without securing a trade agreement on America’s terms, they won’t. Which is why they’re aiming to ratify a trade agreement with their tormentor.
Brussels had been concerned about the agreement that was struck with Trump back in 2025, named the Turnberry Agreement after the US president’s Scottish golf resort where it all went down. The deal was about tariffs. Specifically, it gave a huge break to the US with ZERO tariffs on some of its exports to the EU, while slapping a 15-percent tariff on EU imports to the US. Another master stroke of cuckoldry.
And yet Trump still won’t stop talking about how the EU is constantly stiffing America on trade. Which explains why the EU has been dragging its feet on ratifying it, worried that maybe it was putting too many eggs in a very unstable basket. Something that the US warned it against doing with Russia, being only too happy to step up to offer a costlier overdependency on itself instead.
The EU is doing the exact same with green energy, turning its back on nuclear power before its beloved green renewables were even ready for prime time. Which also went about as well as you might expect from these central planning geniuses. Calling it a screwup, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen recently announced the need to yank another €200 million from taxpayers to “support investment in innovative nuclear technologies.” The same ones they’d been busy vilifying until recently.
“In 1990, one third of Europe’s electricity came from nuclear. Today it’s only close to 15%. This reduction in the share of nuclear was a choice. And in hindsight, it was a strategic mistake,” she said recently. Lucky for her, the wrath of taxpayer accountability is totally irrelevant for an unelected position like hers.
Hard up for gas, struggling to reverse course on nuclear – and now Trump is bribing them with their own money to forget about wind and invest in American gas. All that’s left now is to just hope that it’s enough for Daddy to not withhold the gas produced by their investment from them.
About the only thing they still have going for them is that the EU member states haven’t yet officially ratified the deal to totally sell themselves out. One can hope, right?
“A deal is a deal and we should stick to the Turnberry joint statement,” said EU Trade Commissioner Maroš Šefčovič.
Whoops, okay. Well, maybe not.
Wait. What’s going on over here in this other back room?
The German industrial city of Osnabrück is grappling with the idea that its embattled Volkswagen factory could be saved – but only if it switches from making cars to producing components for Israel’s Iron Dome air defense system, reports the Financial Times.
Oh, great. When can we expect a press release on Israeli government letterhead featuring Volkswagen celebrating an evolution from industrial champion carmaker to cuck for an actively genocidal regime? Second time’s a charm, right? From Hitler’s war crime economy to Israel’s is quite the swing.
Similarly, EU leaders have publicly wallowed in wishy-washiness when it comes to US-Israeli aggression in the Middle East. “Strategic ambiguity,” is what they call it. Which is cuckspeak for “talking out of both sides of my mouth.” But the Wall Street Journal has outed Europe for playing a key role in refueling and supporting the same US operations which they purport to denounce. So instead of acting to match their own words, they let Washington have its way, and then tell their own citizens that European governments will have to come up with a plan to pay for all the cost of living damage that is beyond their control.
Please, won’t someone please help Europe off its knees, already? It’s getting to the point where it risks entirely forgetting how to stand up.