British Man Desperately Trying To Get Out Of Panel Show Duty

LONDON—Pinching the bridge of his nose and releasing a long weary sigh after he opened a letter summoning him to BBC headquarters, British man Arthur Batts confirmed this week that he was desperately trying to get out of panel show duty. “For God’s sake, it seems like I was just on 8 Out Of 10 Cats, and now they’re making me come back in to do Never Mind The Buzzcocks,” said Batts, adding that while he understood the civic importance of mandatory panel show duty, it was still a huge hassle to miss work just to share a dais with David Mitchell. “I don’t have any more droll observations about Keir Starmer for Sandi Toksvig over at QI, and I’ve been on Would I Lie To You? so many times that I can already tell you who’s lying. It’s James fucking Acaster. Maybe Channel 4 will get off my back for a while if I threaten to kill Alex Horne.” After failing to appear for taping, Batts was reportedly fined 1,000 pounds and sentenced to six weeks guest-hosting Have I Got News For You.

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