Maker Of Sharpie Pens Has No Idea What The F*ck Trump Is Talking About
Oh, sweet mercy, while the world burns, Donald J. Trump took a minute to lie about Sharpies. Yeah, so that's not surprising coming from the man who is trying to lie us into his war of choice, but the makers of Sharpie, Newell Brands, have no idea what the fuck Trump was talking about during one of his latest rants, which I'm sure super-impressed his base. Somehow.
During a cabinet meeting, Trump rambled for five minutes about how he haggled the marker company down to $5 personalized pens because he’s such a thrifty stable genius. While promoting his redesign plans for the Kennedy Center and taking aim at the Federal Reserve building's renovation, of course, Trump veered off-topic to comment on the pen in his hand, The Washington Post reports.
In Trump's version of events, he claims he called up the manufacturer, negotiated like a goddamn boss, then saved the taxpayers a fortune. So, Sharpie's response was basically, Yeah, that didn't happen.
“This pen is an interesting example,” he said. “This pen is very inexpensive, but it writes well; I like it.”
“I called the guy, I said, ‘I’d like to use your pen, but I can’t have a great thing with a big S on it saying Sharpie as I’m signing a $1 trillion airplane contract to buy brand new fighter jets,'” he continued.
“He says, 'Well, I can make it nicer.’”
“I said, ‘What can you do?’”
“He said, ‘I’ll paint it black.’ ”
“I said, ‘That’s nice.’”