The Merlin Bird ID App Is Now the Merlin Fight ID App

In light of recent rollbacks on environmental protection, we, the creators behind the beloved birding app Merlin Bird ID, have preemptively shifted into the field of argument identification. Our highly accurate predictive models have shown that while most birds won’t be around much longer, interpersonal conflict is eternal.

Whether you’re a frightened child wondering if your parents are teetering on the precipice of divorce, a hard-of-hearing person worried about missing the nuances of under-the-breath barbs, or simply fed up with listening to your coworkers bicker, our app will do the work of listening to and analyzing any argument for you.

Introducing Merlin Fight ID, a rebranded identification app complete with suggestions for conflict resolution, decreasing tension, and more.

The newly formed Cornell Lab of Aggression is dedicated to helping people identify and cope with arguments occurring around them. Buried subtext, unspoken accusations, and bold claims can make it challenging to figure out what kind of fight you just witnessed and what the actual repercussions might be. We’re here to make that challenge easier.

Merlin is designed to be an argument ID and conflict resolution coach for fights of all severities. Merlin asks you the same questions a conflict-resolution expert would ask to help resolve a disagreement nonviolently. Notice that date and location are Merlin’s first and most important questions. It takes years of experience in the field to know what kinds of arguments are expected on a given date and at a given location. Merlin shares this knowledge with you based on more than eight million arguments submitted to our online library, eFight. This information comes from people around the world who have recorded arguments during wedding anniversaries, funeral services, check-out lines, children’s birthday parties, and other high-stress scenarios.

Merlin Fight ID asks you to describe the intensity, volume level, and physical gestures involved in the fight you witnessed. Because no two people argue in exactly the same way, Merlin presents a shortlist of possible argument topics, fight intensity, and long-term outcomes based on descriptions from Cornell Lab experts. We also employed thousands of angry test subjects who helped “teach” Merlin by participating in argument simulations ranging from minor spats to nearly lethal fistfights. Together, they’ve contributed more than three million descriptors to help Merlin match your input with the most likely argument subject, severity, and projected level of bodily harm. When you positively identify a fight and click “This Is My Fight,” Merlin will save your information to help improve its future suggestions.

Most people would prefer not to witness conflict firsthand, especially when it escalates into physical violence. Now you can further dissociate yourself from any argument by watching it on your smartphone. The Video ID feature in Merlin allows anyone with a camera to film a short clip of a fight in progress and immediately receive a list of suggestions for responding to the disagreement, whether by employing proven de-escalation techniques or by removing yourself from the situation altogether.

We plan to add more categories of arguments, culturally specific approaches to conflict resolution, and, eventually, a Polymarket feature that lets users live-stream a fight in progress while others gamble on the outcome in real time. If you’d like to support our efforts to continue developing Merlin Fight ID, please consider recording your next fight with your partner or parent and then uploading it to our database. No disagreement is too subtle or too savage to be identified and cataloged.

We’re sorry you have to use Merlin Fight ID, but we hope it helps you identify conflict more accurately.