Everything you’re doing about work stress is wrong. Here’s what to do instead
Work stress has become one of the most common challenges in modern life. According to recent national reports, nearly seven in ten employees say work is a major source of stress, putting us right back where we were in the early months of the pandemic. No matter where you work—at a desk in an office, from your kitchen table, or bouncing between the two—the pressure to perform has never been higher.
Burnout has reached a six-year high despite the fact that most of us are doing everything we can think of to get rid of stress. We sign up for wellness webinars. We shuffle schedules. We tell ourselves we’ll rest “as soon as things slow down.” But instead of helping, those strategies only add to the problem. The webinar we signed up for? We can’t attend because we got double-booked. The work we rearranged to make space for breathing room? Turns out it was the one thing our team was actually waiting on. And the plan to rest when things slow down? Somehow that moment never seems to come.
We end up stressed and exhausted from trying not to be so stressed and exhausted.
The truth is that much of what we’ve been taught about dealing with stress is outdated, ineffective, or misunderstood. If we want real relief from stress (and who doesn’t?), we first have to understand what it actually is—and what it isn’t.
The Chronic Stress Crisis
Contrary to popular belief, not all stress is bad. Eustress is the positive, motivating kind—the energy you feel when tackling a meaningful project or learning something new you’re interested in. Acute stress is the body’s short-term response to pressure, like when you’re preparing for a deadline or navigating a tough meeting. These forms of stress aren’t the problem.
The problem is chronic stress: the type that occurs when the body’s alarm system never shuts off. Instead of returning to baseline, the nervous system stays stuck in survival mode. Research from Harvard shows over time, constant activation erodes focus, creativity, and overall health. You simply cannot think clearly, innovate, or solve complex problems when your brain believes you’re under threat and kicks into survival mode.
And here’s the part we don’t talk about nearly enough: Chronic stress doesn’t just drain your energy and reduce your performance—it dulls your joy, narrows your vision, and shrinks your capacity. The myth that stress is the price of success is a lie we’ve been taught, not a truth we have to live.
That brings us to a powerful, surprisingly simple alternative.
It’s Time for Your Joyful Rebellion
A joyful rebellion is the daily, deliberate, unapologetic choice to reclaim your time, your energy, and your joy—without having to quit your job, blow up your life, or transform into someone who cold plunges at sunrise before blending a kale smoothie.
And let’s be clear: Joy is not toxic positivity. We’re not slapping a smiley face sticker over exhaustion and calling it self-care. According to Pamela King, who has studied joy extensively, “Joy is our delight when we experience, celebrate, and anticipate the manifestation of those things we hold with the most significance.”
Joy is meaningful and strategic. It doesn’t require perfection or endless free time—it requires intention. And intention is something we can cultivate, even on our busiest, most stressful days. It only takes three surprisingly simple steps known as the un-stressing method.
Step 1: See Stress Differently
Reducing work stress begins with two tiny questions that change everything:
- Is this important?
- Do I have control over it?
Much of our work stress lives in the space where we skip these questions and jump straight to worry. We catastrophize. We assume the worst. We take responsibility for things that aren’t even ours to carry. But when you pause long enough to name what really matters—and whether or not it’s within your control—you might be surprised by what you discover.
Step 2: Sort Stress into Five Actionable Categories
Not all stress is created equal, and we need to stop treating it like it is. There are five distinct types of work stress, and each has its own symptoms and solutions:
- Schedule stress: Stress from having too much to do and not enough time. Back-to-back meetings, endless commitments—you barely have a moment to breathe.
- Suspense stress: Stress from waiting for what’s uncertain or looming. The deadline, decision, or tough conversation isn’t here yet, but the anticipation is already wearing on you.
- Social stress: Stress from tension in relationships and team dynamics. You can feel it in the awkward silences, the unresolved conflict, and the energy it takes just to get through a meeting.
- Sudden stress: Stress that arrives unannounced and demands a response. An urgent request, a last-minute change, or a full-blown emergency throws your day off course.
- System stress: Stress from structures, processes, and culture. Unclear expectations, power imbalances, inequity, and inefficient processes create stress across the organization.
The first four align with research conducted by Karl Albrecht in the 1970s. Despite how much work has changed since then, those categories of stress are similar. The fifth type of stress, system stress, was added based on my research.
A stressor can be more than one type, or even all five types. Sorting won’t magically remove the stress, but it does remove the confusion on what’s the real problem you’re trying to solve.
Step 3: Solve Stress Without Spinning
This is where we trade overthinking for doing.
When we’re stressed, our brains spin. We run through worst-case scenarios. We rehearse imaginary conversations. We try to solve everything at once, which means we solve nothing at all. The un-stressing method uses a simple decision matrix to identify the next step. For each stressor, you’ll have one small, smart, doable action.
That’s enough to interrupt the spinning that so often occurs when we’re stressed.
Celebrate the Shift Toward Less Stress and More Joy
And now for the fun part—celebrate! The goal isn’t just less stress; it’s more joy. When you begin using the un-stressing method, you reclaim time, energy, and capacity. You don’t have to earn joy or go searching for it. It’s been there all along; it’s just been harder to access because of all the stress.
Work stress may be common, but living in constant survival mode doesn’t have to be. Burnout may be at a six-year high, but that doesn’t mean your joy has to be at a six-year low. We’ve spent so much time trying to manage stress that we’ve overcomplicated it, when what we needed all along was something far simpler—a way of seeing, sorting, and solving stress that actually works.
It’s time to stop simply managing your stress. It’s time to start leading your life.