I'm still paying off tens of thousands in school loans as my oldest applies to college. My financial burden is shaping her approach.

• My parents paid for my undergrad degree. I can't do the same for my three kids.
• I took out loans to cover grad school expenses, and I'm still paying them off.
• My teens are finding creative solutions to minimize potential debt when they head off to college.

When I went to college, I don't remember having any discussion with my parents about finances. I applied to around a dozen schools without any real idea of what they would cost.

When I got into a school on the East, my parents generously paid for my college tuition, meal plan, and dorm expenses. Money from my summer job covered snacks and activities.

When I decided to go to grad school and then law school, I knew I'd be responsible for taking out loans and covering my expenses. Paying off my loans seemed like a far-off problem, so I took out what I needed without much thought.

I have had these loans hanging over my head for over two decades. Not only do they impact my bank account on a monthly basis, but they are now impacting my kids as they apply for college.

Community college classes are cutting years — and costs — off a bachelor's degree

My husband and I have been very forthcoming with our three teens that there isn't a big savings account waiting to support them when they go off to college.

My two oldest have chosen to take their junior- and senior-year classes at our local community college through a dual-enrollment program. My daughter will be graduating from high school this year with two associate's degrees, shaving off two years of college that we won't have to pay for.

My kids also have part-time jobs and are saving money for college tuition, in addition to covering gas and other personal expenses they have.

While I would love to be able to financially support them all through college as my parents did, that's not in the cards for us. We live in Silicon Valley, a very expensive area of the country. We moved here from the Midwest to be closer to my family. The high cost of living means we don't have a huge stash of cash in the bank for our kids.

Public high school opened the door to unexpected opportunities

My kids attended private school through elementary and middle school, but when it came time for high school, the $20,000+ yearly tuition wasn't feasible. So we enrolled them at our local public high school, and it's been the best decision.

The program that my older two high school kids are enrolled in offers a wider variety of classes to choose from (they both took a class over the winter session on organized crime), and sets them up to knock out their general ed requirements before heading to college. Best of all, this program is free, covers their books, and even provides a weekly stipend for lunch.

In a way, my graduate school loans have been an unexpected teacher for our whole family. They've pushed us to talk openly about money, weigh options carefully, and define success as finding a path that's sustainable. I may not be able to give my kids the same financial start that I received, but I can give them a model for making thoughtful choices in the future.

While she's still waiting on some admissions decisions, it seems most likely that my daughter will end up at a nearby university. This would allow her to live at home and take the light rail to school. Since she's planning to enroll in a study abroad program, this seems like the most fiscally responsible option for the two years of college she'll have left.