Making the hard decisions when it comes to saying goodbye to our furry friends
The unconditional love from a pet can brighten the darkest days and fill up our hearts.
But those hearts get broken when our pets get sick and pass away. That’s what happened to me and my family last winter when we made the decision to say goodbye to our 7-year-old black lab, Raven.
A little more than a month before she passed away, I noticed a small speck of blood near her as she was watching squirrels and birds through the window on a chilly day. I never thought one small drop of blood would mean an aggressive cancer in her mouth and a shortened life for our sweet girl.
Raven didn’t show any symptoms that she was sick. She still walked miles each day, played with her toys, took naps and dreamed of running at the beach.
After meeting with our veterinarian, Dr. Gina Akande, who had worked for seven years at Caring Hands Animal Hospital in Rockville, Maryland, and doing tests on Raven, we decided to do palliative care for her when the cancer got too aggressive. Our desire was to keep her comfortable.
We spent weeks showering Raven with all her favorite foods, treats and toys. We wanted more time but that wasn’t going to happen.
No one knows the right time to make such a hard decision to euthanize a pet or even if the decision is the correct one, but Akande shared something with us that day that has always stuck with me and helped us to make our personal decision.
“It’s better a day too soon than a day too late,” Akande said. “Nobody wants their pet to suffer. It can be very difficult to make that decision. But I think putting it into the pet’s perspective … it’s all about the pet’s comfort level.”
Akande said it’s important to keep the pet’s quality of life in mind.
That sentiment was echoed many times in different forms by a number of people I talked with who agreed to share their stories of pet loss. All of them had to make the hard decision and figure out if their pets’ final breaths would be taken in a veterinarian office or through an at-home service.
Keeping them comfortable
Laura Manatos and her family were faced with that decision when their 15-year-old Yorkie, Gibbs, was dying.
Her family decided since Gibbs wasn’t a big fan of the vet’s office, that a more comfortable situation at home was better. So, she reached out to Lap of Love, a home hospice care and in-home euthanasia company.
Dr. Daniella Yaakov Lilach is a veterinarian who works for Lap of Love. She said a doctor comes into the home — with no white lab coat or anything scary — and helps the pet pass in a very peaceful manner.
Yaakov Lilach said the home environment helps the pets and their owners during that time.
“In the home, the pets tend to be a lot more relaxed, a lot more supported. They can have their whole family surround them. They have access to their toys and their beds,” Yaakov Lilach said.
Manatos said she knew using Lap of Love was the right decision, but she acknowledged that in-home euthanasia may not be for everyone, because it might be too tough for pet owners to see the spot each day where their dog or cat died.
“For me, it was peaceful,” Manatos said.
WTOP producer Mike Jakaitis also used Lap of Love when he and his wife Kelly were faced with making a decision about their 14-year-old dog named Barkley.
Barkley would get nervous once he was in the examine room of the vet’s office, and the last thing Jakaitis and his wife wanted to do was to have their dog nervous at that stressful time.
“We vowed never to keep him around just for our feelings. We wanted to do right by him and let him go out with dignity,” Jakaitis said.
How vets are accommodating mourning families
Veterinarian offices are changing to accommodate for when it’s time for a pet to be put to sleep.
Some offices have specially designed rooms in their practices separate from the usual busyness of the office. The offices are creating rooms that don’t feel so sterile.
In the “Comfort Room” at Caring Hands, there was a rug, a small sofa, soft lighting and comforters. And most importantly, a place for the pet’s humans to get in those last moments.
Our family decided Raven would do well in the Comfort Room at Caring Hands. We were able to share time with her at our own pace, have her enjoy some of her favorite treats and play with a toy. Then, when we were ready, there was a special button on the wall to alert the staff for the next step. We said goodbye through lots of tears and pain.
Akande has been there with pets and parents many times same as she was for us that cold winter day.
“It’s an honor I get to relieve pain and suffering to a pet … that they can just let go. And go in a peaceful way,” Akande said.