The 25 Best Chuck Norris Jokes of All Time

Don't mess with Chuck Norris. Even though the beloved actor and iconic action star has passed away, his memory will live on in the form of his cool-guy demeanor, inspirational energy, excellent action movies, and, yes, the now-famous endless series of Chuck Norris jokes. But what is the best Chuck Norris joke of all time? The one that makes you laugh the hardest? The one that makes you fear Chuck Norris the most? Or the one that makes almost zero sense?

In celebration of the life and immortal badassery of Chuck Norris, here are 25 of the best Chuck Norris jokes of all time. And please, if we left out your favorite Chuck Norris joke, let us know in the comments below.

The 25 Best Chuck Norris Jokes

25. God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris replied: "Say please."

24. Chuck Norris was one of the original wise men. He gave Jesus a fourth gift: the gift of Beard. The other wise men were so jealous that they wrote him out of the Bible. That's why we don't see them ever again.

23. Chuck Norris got mad at dinosaurs just once. Only once.

22. Most children check their closet for the boogieman every night. But the boogieman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night.

21. Little kids like to wear Superman underwear. Superman likes to wear Chuck Norris underwear.

20. Chuck Norris built the cabin he was born in.

19. The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

18. It only takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

17. After Chuck Norris met James Bond, Bond legally changed his name to Chuck Norris.

16. When Chuck Norris drives a manual transmission, it acts like an automatic.

15. Chuck Norris doesn't negotiate with terrorists. The terrorists negotiate with Chuck Norris.

14. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table of elements because the only element Chuck Norris recognizes is the element of surprise.

13. When Chuck Norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him.

12. Waldo is actually hiding from Chuck Norris.

11. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.

10. When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

9. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the face. We now call those animals "giraffes."

8. Chuck Norris is the only person who can slam a revolving door.

7. Chuck Norris was the first sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project with only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

6. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

5. Chuck Norris doesn't go swimming; water just wants to be around him.

4. Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He does Earth-downs.

3. There is no CONTROL key on Chuck Norris' keyboard; Chuck Norris is in Control.

2. Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him a "promising rookie."

1. Someone tried to make a brand of toilet paper with Chuck Norris' face on it, but the idea was rejected because Chuck Norris doesn't take crap from anybody.