An alpine divorce isnt a dark joke. Its a calculated escalation of control.

If you search for the term "alpine divorce," you'll find loads of headlines calling it the latest "TikTok trend." But while it might sound like just another fleeting internet buzzword, the reality is actually a chilling form of domestic abuse.

The phrase originates from a 1890s short story by Robert Barr about a man who takes his wife on a mountain hike, intending to push her off a cliff. Recently, the term resurfaced on social media following a high-profile criminal case in Austria.

A man — who can only be identified as Thomas P due to Austrian privacy laws — was convicted of grossly negligent manslaughter after abandoning his girlfriend, Kerstin G, in a winter storm near the summit of Mount Grossglockner. Kerstin G died of hypothermia after Thomas P left her on the mountainside in Jan. 2025 in treacherous conditions — winds of 45 mph, a temperature of −8 °C (18 °F), with a windchill temperature of −20 °C (−4 °F). Thomas P pled not guilty, but prosecutors argued that Thomas neither turned back nor sought help quickly enough to save his girlfriend. During the 14-hour trial, an ex-girlfriend, Andrea B, testified that he'd left her entirely alone on the exact same mountain in 2023. Thomas P was handed a five-month suspended sentence and fined €9,600 ($10,982).

Following that tragedy, women began sharing their own survival stories on forums like Reddit. A quick read through the thread r/climbergirls reveals numerous accounts in which a male partner endangered their female companions either by literally leaving them in perilous situations or by exhibiting a profound lack of consideration for their safety and well-being.

As a r*pe survivor and as someone who’s struggled with abusive partners in the past, reading these accounts was deeply unsettling. How are we (women) supposed to trust anyone in this world?

Our fears are unfortunately backed up by staggering statistics. In 2021, an estimated 4,970 women were victims of murder and nonnegligent manslaughter in the United States, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics. Thirty-four percent were killed by an intimate partner, though some experts estimate that number is actually closer to half. Globally, the reality is just as grim: the United Nations reports that a woman is murdered by her partner or a family member every 10 minutes. The threat is disproportionately high in the U.S., which accounts for 70 percent of all femicides in high-income countries.

I spoke to trauma therapists and relationship experts to break down the psychology behind an alpine divorce, and how to spot the warning signs before you ever hit the trail.

The psychology of isolation

Abuse thrives in silence and isolation. In a domestic setting, there’s still some semblance of a safety net, whether it be neighbors, a cell signal, or just the ability to walk out. But when an abusive partner takes you into a remote, survival-based environment, all of those safeguards disappear. And suddenly, the person who put you in danger is also the only person you can rely on to survive.

"Taking someone to a remote location is the ultimate form of isolation and control because they're essentially taking away all access to help, communication, or witnesses," explains Jessica Ronyak, LMHC, LPCC, a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in abuse trauma. "It changes the psychological grip the abuser has on the victim because the abuser becomes the only point of safety and way out. This makes the abuser the threat but also the person to rely on for survival."

The great outdoors is also inherently dangerous, which gives the abuser the perfect cover for “accidents.” If you get left behind in a forest or on the side of a mountain, it’s easy for them to weaponize the unpredictability of the natural world.

"Nature is morally neutral," adds Ruth Darlene, founder and executive director of WomenSV. "What some men end up doing to women out there is not." Her nonprofit is dedicated to empowering survivors of coercive control, which she defines as "a pattern of threatening, isolating, controlling, and often shaming behaviors that entrap an intimate partner in their personal life."

She explains that for a covert abuser (someone who hides their controlling behavior behind a charming, respectable public persona), a hike is the ultimate way to exercise control while preserving their public image (because anything can happen). "Two go into the woods as husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend, and one comes out grieving the loss of his beloved partner, with no witnesses, only the tears of the remaining survivor."

Darlene calls this the "monopolization of perception," a psychological tactic where an abuser manipulates a victim into believing the world revolves entirely around them. By taking a partner into the wilderness, they completely isolate them from all outside assistance.

Ultimately, coercive control turns a romantic partner into a possession. "What is the ultimate right of property possession? Disposal," Darlene says. "The right to dispose of it when it no longer serves a useful purpose or begins to cause trouble."

A panic response or a calculated punishment?

When these stories go viral, the comment sections inevitably fill up with people playing devil's advocate or outright blaming the victim. In comments Mashable has reviewed, for example, you'll see variations of, "What was he supposed to do, stay there and freeze too?" or "Unless he did something to incapacitate her, he isn't responsible for her." Others argue that in high-risk situations, a partner might just panic and let their "flight" survival instinct take over.

According to Darlene, there's a visible difference between a trauma-triggered panic response and an act of coercive control. While a partner in an "unhealthy" relationship might run away during a conflict due to emotional immaturity or an instinctive fight-or-flight response, a covert abuser operates on a more "calculated" level.

"This kind of impulsive, reflexive 'trauma-triggered' behavior differs markedly from the calculating and premeditated tendencies of the abuser," Darlene clarifies. "Unhealthy crosses over into abusive behavior where there is a lack of accountability, self-reflection, empathy, remorse, or willingness to consider the needs of others."

Other therapists agree, noting that the true test is how the partner acts after the incident. Ronyak points out that "someone who acted in panic will show actual remorse and be sincerely apologetic," and likely try to help or attempt a rescue. Conversely, Gabrielle Wanchek, LMFT at Mindpath Health, explains that an abuser lacks true concern and will instead "get angry with the person who was in danger or shame the person before they try to reassign blame, making themselves the victim."

In short: It's one thing to storm out of a bedroom during an argument. It's an entirely different, calculated choice to drive off and leave someone in the wilderness.

Red flags and micro-abandonments

"Something as extreme as an alpine divorce doesn't usually appear out of nowhere," says Ronyak. She notes it’s almost always preceded by a pattern of behavior — like repeatedly minimizing your distress — that lets the abuser test the waters, establish dominance, and erode your self-esteem.

"Love is a slippery slope, and so is coercive control," Darlene warns. She explains that it often starts with excessive attention and lovebombing, or being overly affectionate very soon into the relationship. "What looks like checking in at first, over time can begin to look more like checking up on you." She emphasizes that the abuser's "mask" typically only begins to slip once the victim becomes vulnerable (e.g., falling in love, getting married, or moving to a new town).

Therapists refer to the stepping stones leading up to an alpine divorce as "micro-abandonments." These are everyday, seemingly mundane instances where a partner leaves you emotionally or physically stranded when you're vulnerable.

"I pay attention to patterns where one partner consistently withdraws care in moments of vulnerability, refusing help when the other is sick, stranded, overwhelmed, or frightened," says Melissa Legere, LMFT, clinical director and co-founder of California Behavioral Health. "These 'micro-abandonments' communicate a disturbing message: your safety and wellbeing are conditional and can be withdrawn as punishment."

It also shows up in how they handle conflict. Doriel Jacov, JD, LCSW, a psychotherapist and former corporate attorney, says that this type of abandonment reflects a "profound inability to tolerate and manage conflict." Instead of working through a disagreement, the abuser withdraws.

This can look like a partner who walks way ahead of you on a trail and gets annoyed when you ask them to slow down because they have a "low frustration tolerance." Or, it's the partner who stonewalls you during an argument. Complex trauma therapist Sheri Heller, LCSW, RSW, explains that "stonewalling (shutting down, disappearing, and refusing to engage in any way) is a powerful form of micro abandonment that keeps the target on edge, wondering what they did wrong this time to incur this form of punishment."

There's also the insidious weaponization of expertise. In many of these survival stories, the abuser is an experienced outdoorsman, while the victim is a beginner. The abuser builds a false sense of security by acting as a guide and protector, but once you're out in the wild, you're on your own.

"Any trepidation on the target's part will be framed as paranoia and a betrayal, as they're insinuating that the abuser is not trustworthy," says Heller. They might shame you for not understanding a climbing system, withhold vital information, or intentionally set an exhausting pace just to prove how much you need them.

According to Darlene, when an abuser has superior survival skills, the victim becomes completely dependent on him, mirroring Stockholm Syndrome. "Here we see this phenomenon sped up, where suddenly, he literally has the power of life and death over her," Darlene adds.

Will the law actually protect you?

If you’re hoping the criminal justice system will protect you from this kind of abuse, the reality is incredibly bleak. In the Austrian case that started this international discourse, the offense carried a maximum sentence of just three years in prison, but the convicted climber received a far more lenient punishment, despite the guilty verdict. The court cited his "clean record" and the "loss of a person close to him" as mitigating factors, with the judge ruling that he did not "willfully" leave her behind. He didn't even serve immediate jail time for her death.

But other legal systems recognize the severity of this crime. For example, under UK Crown Court guidelines, a conviction for gross negligence manslaughter carries a maximum sentence of life imprisonment, with a typical range of one to 18 years in custody. UK guidelines specifically list acting with a "blatant disregard for a very high risk of death" as a factor indicating high culpability. A history of abuse or violence, including coercive or controlling behavior, is an aggravating factor that increases the seriousness of the offense.

In the U.S., these types of "accidents" carry more weight depending on how the charges are filed. According to the United States Sentencing Commission, involuntary manslaughter carries a statutory maximum of six years, while voluntary manslaughter carries a maximum of 10 years. If the prosecution can prove intent and secure a first-degree or second-degree murder charge, the maximum penalty is life in prison.

Abusers are often aware of these loopholes. "For the covert abuser who decides that his relationship has 'run its course,' and who is now running the cost-benefit analysis... the cheapest, most efficient solution isn't a long, drawn-out, costly court battle," Darlene cautions. "It's a camping trip."

When it comes to family court or a literal divorce, judges can also view this coercive control with the severity it deserves. Mehnaz Zanil, an associate solicitor at the UK-based family law firm Rayden Solicitors, explains that courts do not treat these incidents as mere dramatic breakups.

"If a partner deliberately strands the other in a remote or unsafe location in order to frighten, punish, humiliate, or exert control, the court may consider that behavior within the wider definition of domestic abuse, which includes controlling or coercive conduct as well as psychological or emotional abuse," Zanil says.

If you're fighting for custody and trying to protect your kids from a guy who pulls this kind of stunt, don't let him gaslight you into keeping quiet about it — bring it up in family court. Leaving a partner stranded in a dangerous, isolating situation isn't just an "oops, I made a bad call" moment. Judges will look at the context and intent behind these so-called "accidents" to see them for what they really are: a calculated misuse of power and a glaring pattern of abuse.

Finding your footing again

Surviving an alpine divorce, or any relationship defined by coercive control, leaves a psychological scar. For many survivors, the hardest part is reconciling how their abuser used their best traits against them.

"What he has done is taken what's right with her, her very best qualities of understanding and empathy and self-reflection, and weaponized even those so that he gets used to blaming her and she gets used to blaming herself," Darlene says.

"The recovery process involves grieving the loss of the relationship, and also the fantasy of who they thought their partner was," Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD and clinical psychologist and relationship expert, tells Mashable. Legere agrees, noting that therapy often focuses on helping the survivor process the shock of the realization and stabilizing the trauma symptoms.

When you're ready to date again, Darlene insists the most important tool you have is patience. "Time is the enemy of the covert abuser," she says, noting that abusers often push for physical intimacy early on to short-circuit a victim's analytical mind. She recommends keeping a private journal to track early pink flags (like teasing, moodiness, road rage, or how he talks about his exes) to help you see the reality of his character before you're fully invested.

"Recovery looks like rebuilding nervous system safety and self-trust, helping survivors reconnect with their instincts, use self-compassion to reduce shame and self-criticism, and recognize early warning signs of coercive or controlling behavior," explains Chloë Bean, LMFT, a somatic trauma therapist.

Learning to trust your internal warning signals again is the most important step you can take. If your partner makes you feel unsafe, unsupported, or like your needs are a burden, listen to that instinct. Your safety should never be conditional.

If you have experienced sexual abuse, call the free, confidential National Sexual Assault hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), or access the 24-7 help online by visiting online.rainn.org.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, you can call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), text "START" to 88788, or access live chat support at thehotline.org/get-help