Sex kink is way more common than you think. This dating app’s free tool lets anybody explore those taboos

Feeld markets itself as “the dating app for the curious.” For most of its users, that means curiosity about kink and casual sex—but its newest tool asks you to be curious about yourself.

As a favorite platform for the kink, fetish, and nonmonogamous communities, Feeld is a place where taboos are the norm. But a new survey from the app suggests that kink is more mainstream than dominant culture would have you believe. And Feeld’s new tool, Reflections, lets anyone—Feeld users and otherwise—assess their own relationship with nontraditional sex.

Feeld surveyed thousands of its own users and external respondents for opinions on the perceived normality of traits like nonmonogamy, queerness, and kinkiness. It published the results in a report titled “State of Reflections, Vol. 1.”

The survey found that while Feeld users were unsurprisingly more open-minded on average, the general public wasn’t far behind in its attitudes toward non-vanilla sex. Nearly half of non-Feeld users (42%) said they practice kink, compared with 68% of the app’s user base.

In some areas, everyday folks were even kinkier than Feeld members: Among those who practice kink, 44% of external respondents said they engage in role-play, just above the 41% of Feeld users that said the same.

But despite what’s actually happening behind closed doors, kink remains largely stigmatized. Only 25% of non-Feeld users said that talking about safe sex is normal, and just 23% said it’s normal to prioritize conversations about consent. And 28% of those external participants believe alternative relationship structures—dynamics like ethical nonmonogamy—are somewhat or extremely abnormal.

Reflecting on taboos

To help break down those stigmas, Feeld launched Reflections, its new self-assessment tool. Reflections is a collection of surveys that asks respondents to rate their interests and behaviors across three categories: desire, boundaries, and relationships. 

In the desire section, users reflect on their comfort with a variety of kinks—from being blindfolded to role-playing a doctor-patient relationship to bringing toys into the bedroom.

The boundaries section asks them to consider what qualifies as a red flag in a relationship—going through a partner’s phone without consent might be a bridge too far, for example—and how much any given partner impacts their own self-expression.

Finally, the relationships portion delves into attachment style and interest in nonmonogamy.

After each section, Feeld provides an analysis of those answers, providing scores out of 100, under headings including “kink affinity,” “feeling authentic in sex,” and “voice and consent.” (Reflections is available to anyone online, or to users directly in the Feeld app.)

In a press release, Feeld CEO Ana Kirova described Reflections as “one of the most defining experiences we’ve brought to Feeld.”

“It embodies what we’ve always stood for—curiosity, self-discovery, and openness—while reflecting our core belief that meaningful connection starts with self-understanding,” Kirova said. “Reflections creates the space for introspection, so every connection that follows can be more honest, intentional, and true to who you are.”