Kylie Jenner Will Have to Be the Actor of the Household If Timmy Keeps Acting Out

We are officially on what feels like day 5,000 of the Timothée Chalamet opera/ballet drama, which I am officially coining OPERABALLETGATE. 

Chalamet remains in the hot seat this week, just days before the Best Actor Oscar is announced on Sunday, a prize he has been shamelessly pursuing over the past six months. But if he loses, do not fear! There’s a new up-and-coming actor on the scene, who just happens to be his girlfriend of three years. Yes, Kylie Jenner may have to take over as the acting aficionado of this A-list household.

Must I re-explain what happened with Timmy before moving on to Kylie? OK, fine. So, in a conversation with Matthew McConaughey about the future of ~cinema~, Chalamet put his foot in his mouth and said, “I don’t want to be working in ballet, or opera, or things where it’s like, ‘Hey, keep this thing alive, even though like no one cares about this anymore.’” Suddenly, everyone had an opinion about how ballet and opera are amazing (which, like, duh) and that Chalamet shouldn’t tear down other forms of art. He Marty-Supreme’d too close to the sun, and it blew up in his face. (Where was Kris Jenner in all this? She needs to train this boy!)

 

Now, like every loyal, hardworking wife, Jenner will have to step up and do the work of (eventually) winning the Oscar for their home. 

 

Jenner made her debut acting in Charli XCX’s The Moment, playing the challenging role of…herself. Though, to be fair, social media seems to agree that she did a phenomenal job. And in a new Vanity Fair story, she revealed she’s been getting sent more and more scripts. “Nothing that I feel is right yet, but I 100 percent want to do more,” she said. “I really like comedy. I think I’m good at it. Maybe next time I talk to you, I’ll be the lead of an action movie!”

 

Let’s get her in Dune 5, why not! When you’re that rich, you can just explore whatever side quest you want.

 

“In the last years of my 20s, I want to focus on just me, my businesses, my work, traveling with my kids, enjoying my kids, and then…I do want to have more kids….” More kids, you say? Hm…

 

I am giving y’all 24 hours, and not a second more, to get out your last hot take on operaballetgate, and then we’re done. I am at my wits’ end and am eager to return to living in a harmonious society, where we all just speculate over whether Kylie and Timmy are having a kid.