James Van Der Beek’s daughter, 9, offers moving advice about grief: ‘I just tell him about my day'

Emilia Van Der Beek, 9, reflected on navigating grief after the death of her father.

James Van Der Beek died Feb. 11 after a courageous battle with stage 3 colorectal cancer. He was 48.

To honor what would have been his 49th birthday, Kimberly Van Der Beek shared a video their daughter recorded to post on social media. 

"As you all know probably now, my dad has passed away, but I'm just going to tell you little tips, or anything that helps you getting through anybody you love who's passing," the little one began.

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"So today is my dad's birthday, and the No. 1 thing for somebody's passing is to talk to them and let your emotions out. If you miss them, you can cry, you can talk to them. I talk to my dad every day and I start with a sentence and I say, ‘Hi dad, I miss you and I love you so much, and I’ll never stop loving you.'"

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"And I just tell him about my day, how I'm feeling, and I tell my family how I'm feeling, and I know he can hear me, but I can't hear him. My mom can," she continued. "You just, you have to feel them in your heart, because they're in your heart. They're watching over you. They are a part of your body, and in a good place. I know that my dad's in a good place. He's not in pain anymore. He's in heaven."

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Emilia noted that her dad is "above the clouds with God," and told her mother's followers that it was OK to cry.  

"Be sad because you miss them. You can be angry but don't blame yourself. Blaming yourself – it's not a good strategy for someone's passing," she said. "And if somebody also lost their dog, or like, somebody they love, and you did too, and they try to tell you, ‘I know how you feel. I felt worse.' They don’t know how you feel. 

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"Everybody has different emotions in their body and they express it in different ways, many, many different ways."

"Something my dad told me was, if this didn't work out the way he wanted it to and the way we wanted it to, for him living, I still have to believe in miracles," Emilia added. "Miracles can still happen just later on in life, and they'll keep coming. But maybe when you want them to come, they might not. But if they do pass, if they do go – just remember, they have some work to do on the other side."

Emilia said she prays to her dad, and knows that "he was a good man." She kept one of his hats because it smelled like the "Dawson's Creek" actor.

"A lot of people loved him, and people prayed for him, and he was loved by many, many hearts and many, many people," she said.

The "Varsity Blues" star publicly shared his stage 3 colorectal cancer diagnosis in November 2024, more than a year before his death. He had first received his diagnosis in August 2023.

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Kimberly, 44, revealed last month that she hosted a "simple and beautiful and moving" vow renewal ceremony with Van Der Beek, family and friends over Zoom shortly before his death. 

"We decided two days beforehand and our friends got us new rings, filled our bedroom with flowers and candles and we renewed our vows from bed," she told People magazine.

James and Kimberly, (née Brook), first met while they were both vacationing in Israel in 2009. The couple tied the knot on Aug. 1, 2010, during a small ceremony in Tel Aviv, Israel, at the Kabbalah Centre near Dizengoff Square. 

They share six children together, including daughters Olivia, 15, Annabel, 12, Emilia, 9, and Gwendolyn, 7, and sons Joshua, 13, and Jeremiah, 4.