Woman Comforting Friend Over the Loss of Their Cat Is Shocked By Comparison They Made, Which Some Say Should've Stayed an 'Inside Thought'

A woman is struggling to help a friend who is grieving the death of her cat. However, she’s unsure of how to proceed after the friend made a surprising comment about her loss.

Taking to Reddit‘s “Am I Overreacting” forum, the woman explained her situation, saying that the pet parent was “one of [her] best friends of 16 years.”

She said that the friend’s cat “had some issues” and that a vet thinks he suffered “heart failure” before dying.

While the Redditor recognized that her friend was deeply hurt by the death, she didn’t know how to respond when she started comparing their grief.

Keep reading to find out more…

In her post, the Redditor said that her friend compared the cat’s death to the death of her husband of five years, who had died “from a very aggressive cancer 10 years ago” at the age of 31.

She wrote that her friend said that her cat’s death was “just as painful” as the experience the poster went through losing her longtime love.

“I was bothered by the fact that she compared her cat loss to the loss of my husband who suffered from cancer for two years, and she was friends with him,” she wrote. “She saw him suffering. She lost him too. And she compared his death to a cat. I was bothered by it but didn’t say anything at first.”

The woman said that she was “a little quiet” for a few days but consistently checked in to see how her friend was handling the loss. At that point, the pal asked if anything was wrong.

“I finally told her that when she compared the cat to Daniel, I had to process that but I’m okay now. Now she’s acting very weird with me, telling me that her grief is overpowering and all consuming and that she doesn’t have the capacity to worry about anyone else’s feelings right now or communicate consistently,” the woman wrote.

She added that she wasn’t sure “how to support her anymore because no matter what I say at this point, she gets upset, can be condescending in her responses and honestly it’s upsetting me too.”

“I’ve lost pets as well. It’s awful. It’s not the same as a husband,” she said, asking if she was in the wrong and adding, “I never once discounted her grief!!”

Many people rushed to respond to the post, weighing in on the situation and offering comfort.

“I wonder if your friend was trying to explain how deeply she’s grieving and did it in an inappropriate way. Comparing grief is never the answer but people do stupid things. Especially when grieving,” one person wrote.

Another assured her that she wasn’t overreacting, but adding, “Grief is complicated & people aren’t their best selves when they’re grieving. I would like to think (& hope) that when her grief is a bit less fresh, she will regret that she made that comparison.”

“I don’t think your friend is a huge a–hole or anything,” yet another Redditor opined, adding that original poster was “obviously” alright “for feeling bothered and voicing it politely.”

One Redditor explained how the friend’s comments should have been “an inside thought,” writing, “I love my dog and will be devastated when his time comes but I would never tell someone who lost their spouse that it’s the same thing.”

Another more bluntly told the woman to “stop getting annoyed and be present for [her] grieving friend.”

“There is no use in approaching this subject with her, doing so will make it sound like you are trying to win a gold medal in the Trauma Olympics,” they wrote, adding, “Yes her comment was a bit inane but grief should not be compared.”