I played hooky from work — and it taught me a lesson about community

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Forget happy hour. Try playing hooky.

"We need it! Reparations for our pain and suffering," my friend, Lauren Grove, texted me.

It was right after a February blizzard had dumped more than 12 inches of snow over the Tri-State area, and with her kids being the same age as mine — busy 6- and 3-year-olds (and did I mention, they're boys!) — we were in desperate need of a break. So Lauren invited our mom group chat to play hooky from work that Friday.

As a person who prides herself on productivity and who's never met a to-do list I didn't enjoy tackling, playing hooky didn't immediately appeal to me. Still, Lauren assured me it was only an hour during the lunch break, and I'd still make it in time to pick up my children from school.

Fine. It felt like a no-brainer, especially since one of my goals this year is to be more intentional about creating community after my family and I moved post-pandemic to a sleepy New Jersey suburb. And overindexing on work has been known to cause burnout, higher rates of anxiety and depression, along with affecting sleep quality.

I'm not the only one. Although the hum of the loneliness epidemic isn't as loud in the headlines, many are still feeling the effects of increased solitude. We're also spending less time with friends. For years, Americans averaged about 6.5 hours a week with friends. Between 2014 and 2019, that number plunged by 37%, to just 4 hours. The year 2014 coincides with a rise in smartphone users.

I knew that community doesn't just happen; like most things in life, it takes effort. And there are only so many coffee shops and libraries you can go to without experiencing third-space fatigue. Plus, this hooky party felt low stakes: It was time-constrained with no expectation to hang out late. I also didn't have to hire a babysitter to enjoy it since it was midday.

After the party — which was an amazing time, by the way, complete with food and line dancing — I asked Lauren, the chief experience architect at event design firm The Grant Access, what inspired her to host the hooky party.

"The world is crazy right now, and all we truly have is community. We have to cultivate it and feed into it; not just by engaging online but by seeing each other," she told me. "This hooky party served as an opportunity for us to close our laptops and find joy with the people we love."

And when I got home, my to-do list was waiting for me, but at least I got a midday reminder that I don't have to do life alone.