How big is the housework gender gap? It depends if the husband or wife answers the question

Couples often disagree about who does more housework. Part of that disagreement reflects real differences in behaviour. But part of it is perception: what each person notices, remembers and counts as “work”.

That same problem turns out to influence the research that feeds headlines about gender equality at home. Many household surveys ask just one person to report how much housework both partners do. My research shows that this seemingly minor design choice – whether the husband or the wife in a heterosexual couple answers – can fundamentally change what the data appears to say about money, gender and chores.

For decades, researchers have tried to understand how couples divide housework when both partners earn money. Two broad explanations dominate the debate.

One focuses on economics. Exchange and bargaining theories predict that the higher earner does less unpaid work at home, because their time has a higher opportunity cost and more negotiating power. From this perspective, as women’s earnings rise, their share of housework should fall, while men’s should rise.

The other explanation emphasises gender norms. Sociologists have argued that when couples depart from the traditional male-breadwinner model – especially when wives earn more than their husbands – they may “do gender” at home to compensate. In this view, women may end up doing more housework, and men less, to symbolically reassert traditional roles.

The evidence has been mixed. Some studies support bargaining. Others find patterns consistent with “doing gender”. One reason for this discrepancy may lie not in how couples behave, but in how their behaviour is measured.

To explore this, I analysed 24 years of data (1999-2023) from the US Panel Study of Income Dynamics – a nationally representative longitudinal survey of US families run by the University of Michigan and funded primarily by the National Science Foundation and the National Institutes of Health.

I focused on married, dual-earner heterosexual couples, the group most often studied in research on housework and income. The survey repeatedly interviews households and asks how many hours per week each spouse spends cooking, cleaning and doing other work around the house.

In each wave, one person answers on behalf of the household. Sometimes it is the wife, sometimes the husband. This creates a valuable opportunity. Because the survey follows the same couples for years, we can compare households to themselves and ask a simple question: what changes when the respondent changes?

Who answers changes the story

Previous research has long shown that husbands and wives report housework differently, and the same pattern appears in my research. When husbands answer surveys, they tend to report a more equal division of labour than wives do, crediting themselves with a larger share of household work and reporting slightly fewer hours for their partners. Even before income enters the picture, who answers the survey shapes what “sharing the load” appears to look like.

The more revealing differences emerge once income is taken into account. When wives are the respondents, the relationship between earnings and housework looks like economic bargaining: as wives’ share of household income rises, they report doing less housework and their husbands doing more, in a largely linear way.

When husbands are the respondents, the same households tell a different story. Their reports show a non-linear pattern: husbands report increasing their own housework as their wives’ earnings approach parity. They then report doing less once wives earn more than they do, while reporting higher housework hours for their wives. This pattern is consistent with what sociologists call gender deviance neutralisation, where departures from the male-breadwinner norm are symbolically offset at home.

The crucial point is not that one theory is right and the other wrong. It is that the same couples can appear to support competing explanations depending on who answers the survey.

The results do not reveal the “true” number of hours someone spent cleaning in a given week. Instead, they reveal something more fundamental about the evidence base: reported housework is filtered through gendered perceptions and self-presentation, especially in situations that challenge traditional expectations, such as near equal or reversed earnings.

Housework is not just a set of tasks. It is a socially loaded activity tied to ideas about fairness, competence and identity. When people report on it, they are likely not just simply recalling time, they are also telling a story about how their household works.

Housework statistics are widely used to judge whether societies are becoming more equal, and to evaluate policies affecting dual-earner families. If researchers pool responses without treating respondent identity as central, they risk averaging away meaningful differences and drawing muted – or misleading – conclusions.

In the end, the question is not only who does the chores. It is also who gets to describe them – and how much our conclusions depend on that storyteller.

Joanna Syrda does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.