Marin women tackle menopause in new show

Suraya Keating knows the power of storytelling. Through her work as a drama therapist and expressive arts therapist, the Fairfax resident has seen time and time again the healing, powerful things that happen when people — including herself — dare to be vulnerable.

“It’s really life-changing when we open our hearts and share our journeys. It’s humanizing and connecting,” said Keating, who has worked with Marin Shakespeare Company for more than 20 years on its theater programs for formerly and currently incarcerated individuals. “Oscar Wilde said that an enemy is only an enemy until they share their story. I always remember that and, to me, that captures the way in which stories are really medicine for all humans.”

One day in 2024, in the midst of a conversation between Keating and her longtime friend Lindsay Wood, a former Marin resident who was having a “hot flash,” inspiration struck. Why not create a theatrical show to shine a light on and destigmatize menopause, a part of womanhood that affected them and many others? The show’s first iteration made its debut at San Rafael’s Marin Shakespeare Company in December 2024.

“People started to see themselves in the stories that are shared. They saw their loved ones. Sometimes they see what might be ahead for them or what was behind them,” said Keating, in her 50s, who said it became like a supportive therapy group for both the performers and the audience members.

Keating, Wood and others will return to the stage to share their personal stories in “The Menopause Show” this weekend at the Marsh, a theater in San Francisco. Each solo piece is as unique to each person as each person’s journey of perimenopause and menopause can be. Some performances involve dance. Others involve music and characters, from people in the performers’ lives to gods and goddesses. Admission is $25 to $35 for general admission and $50 to $100 for reserved seating. Tickets and more information about the weekend shows, which will run through March 29, can be found at bit.ly/4aHzKni.

The four core performers are Keating, the founder of Soul Story Theater; Wood, a veteran theater performer; Mill Valley performer Marianne Shine, who also teaches and directs Shakespeare at San Quentin prison through Marin Shakespeare Company; and Tiburon resident Anjali Sawhney, a certified integral life coach who recently discovered her passion for performing. Special guest performers will join them throughout the show’s run.

For the performers, it was important to tackle perimenopause and menopause with humor and heart and show that it’s not just a medical process but a spiritual and emotional one too.

“It’s really about community and creating a narrative around a taboo topic that shouldn’t be taboo anymore,” said Shine, who works as a drama therapist, and was amazed how many people have stayed after the shows to speak with them and share their own stories.

“My mom’s generation, it was just whispered about, if mentioned at all, and it was treated like something you had to hide. I think it’s having a real cultural moment because women are finally refusing to be silent about it. A woman’s value doesn’t decline just because her estrogen levels do.”

When Sawhney decided to join the group, she hadn’t acted since middle school — which she did thanks to a lollipop bribe, she jokes. But, Sawhney, a supporter of the Bay Area’s theater scene, was inspired when she saw an earlier version of the menopause show.

“I saw it, and I enjoyed it so much. I was laughing and crying, and I thought, I could do this because I have a story to tell too. We all do, each one of us,” said Sawhney, a friend of Keating’s who credits her for guidance as she shaped her piece.

For her, it felt like menopause was a topic she didn’t hear discussed enough and especially not much beyond a medical lens.

“I felt like people didn’t talk about it enough, or if they did, it was uber serious. For some people it’s a nonevent; for some people it’s a huge event. I felt like it needs to be more out there, more of a conversation of all of the joy, sorrow, sadness, fear and excitement. It’s a huge transition, and we’re all looking for belonging, and this is a way for people to be able to feel that ‘it’s not just me.’ And then we learn from each other, and we feel empowered,” said Sawhney, a mother of two.

In her story, “Are You There Moon? It’s Me, Anjali,” a nod to Judy Blume, whose popular coming-of-age tale inspired her, the 56-year-old talks about how she started perimenopause in her early 40s and went into early menopause. The experience included navigating emotional swings, libido changes and the feelings of loss, curiosity and freedom that came to the surface.

Shine has always found storytelling to be a healing way to share what’s going on in her life, from dating to clearing clutter to examining the relationships with her parents. For Shine, in her 60s, she looks back on the journey with menopause through about a dozen different characters.

“I had three teenage boys at the time, and they were going through puberty, and I was going through menopause,” she said. “It was a bit of a roller coaster. And I knew a little bit more about it than the average person because my dad was an OB-GYN. I used to be a strong ‘people pleaser.’ I would dissociate or check out and try to please everyone to the detriment of my own body. And then, going through menopause made me realize I need to get back into my body.”

She also reflects on the “surge of creative power” she experienced starting in perimenopause. In fact, she started her studies in drama therapy during perimenopause after hearing it mentioned in an audiobook she was listening to while driving one of her kids to sports practice. She’d go on to graduate from the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco in 2015, where Keating was one of her mentors and professors.

“Before I graduated, I did my own one-woman show called the ‘Punishment Corner.’ It was incredibly healing and powerful and evocative. It’s something that I’m glad that I got to do. I think it really informs the work that I do now.”

The show, Shine says, isn’t just for women but also for friends and family members who want to understand perimenopause and menopause better.

“This way, menopause doesn’t happen in isolation; it happens in community, inside relationships,” she said.