Mentors can make the difference for young Black men in college. Here's how to be a good one.

Black boys and men have to scale high walls to get into college and complete their degree.

They are more likely than their peers to juggle caring for elders or younger siblings with classes. They’re often the first in their family to pursue higher education, and frequently come up against the perception that they are not “college material.” Across the country, they are the least likely student group to finish a degree within six years.

Research has found that mentors, especially those who are also Black and male-identifying, can help, whether that’s by sharing how they navigated similar obstacles or by connecting mentees to tutoring, mental health care and even food.

But people who work with mentoring initiatives say there are more young people in Chicago who could benefit from this support than there are mentors. That's especially true in Black and segregated communities where students are less likely to have access to adults with postsecondary experience who might know what it’s like to wade through complicated higher education systems.

That’s why local advocates are asking Chicagoans of all backgrounds to put themselves forward, either by volunteering with a mentoring organization or by connecting with young people through their churches, alma maters or fraternities and sororities.

“If you can be dedicated and trustworthy, if you have the time and are reliable, please, please sign up to be a mentor with whatever organization that you want,” said Nakia Samuels, who directs youth programming for the nonprofit Chicago Urban League, which is launching a mentorship program this spring.

WBEZ spoke with Samuels and others about the characteristics that make for great mentors, and how you can offer your time if you’ve never been a mentor before.

Everyone has something to offer as a mentor

Maybe you’re into crafting or opera and you worry you won’t be able to relate to a young Black student.

Chances are, there is a student out there who shares your interests, Samuels said. And even if they don’t, she said, that’s not what matters most.

“A good mentor is somebody who is going to be respectful,” Samuels said. “They're going to be consistent, reliable, present. They're going to keep their commitments. They're going to show up.

A mentor can help their mentee figure out how they are going to pay for their next semester of college, or help them think of places to find community on their predominantly white campus.

The time commitment will vary: Some organizations require mentors to check in with mentees once a week or once every other week. But consistency is more important than frequency.

“Even one meaningful conversation every few months can be impactful,” said Charles Brown, an Austin-based college professor and pastor who runs a mentoring program at Malcolm X College and mentors young Black men at his church.

Good mentors come ready to listen and know when to set boundaries

Cortez Watson, Jr., who leads the Young Black Men Of Honor mentoring program through the South Side-based nonprofit Black Star Project, said there is no one right way to mentor. But mentors should approach the relationship with curiosity and openness, and start by getting to know their mentee and how to relate to them.

“It's really just starting where you're at,” he said, without assuming you’ll immediately know how to solve your mentee’s problems. “Then lots of questions, not lots of answers.”

Sometimes, Samuels said, a mentee needs someone who will really listen to them — without checking their phone or multi-tasking — more than they need a solution.

“Because maybe I just need somebody to talk to and just unload for 10 or 15 minutes,” she said.

No matter how often a mentor plans to check in, Samuels said, it’s important to be upfront about how much time and support you can offer.

“If there's something beyond what the mentor can do or what they can speak to, there will be other resources,” she said.

Maybe a mentee needs mental health counseling or is dealing with food insecurity. If that’s beyond a mentor’s expertise, they can turn to their network of friends and colleagues to see if they can connect students to the resources they need.

Tell your mentee what they’re good at

Samuels said this one is especially important for Black children and boys because, often, they aren’t told their strengths.

“They don't hear, ‘This is what you're great at,’ Samuels said. “It's always, ‘Don't, don't, don't.’”

Similarly, Watson, Jr. said mentors aren’t there to judge, but to offer young people a safe place to be themselves and talk about their hardships and their mistakes. He takes that approach at Young Black Men Of Honor.

“The standard is high, the learning is rich, the outcomes are important,” he said. “But first and foremost, y'all free to be kids up in here.”

Don’t expect anything in return

Your mentee may not always take your advice, and it can be hard to watch them screw up or go through tough times.

“You may not even get a thank you,” Samuels said.

But mentors who have done this work say they learn so much from their mentees, and there’s no feeling quite like helping a young person get their college acceptance letter or cross the commencement stage.

“Your heart's got to be in the right place, because the work is hard work,” Watson, Jr. said.

Brown, the college professor, says it’s important to remember that not every mentor-mentee relationship is forever, and that’s okay.

“As students grow, their needs change,” he said. “Outgrowing a mentor doesn’t mean the relationship failed. It means it worked.”

Lisa Kurian Philip covers higher education for WBEZ, in partnership with Open Campus.