Is AdultFriendFinder legit? Only if you can follow these 4 rules.

As one of the oldest and largest online dating sites, AdultFriendFinder has a massive community of singles and non-monogamous kinksters looking for fun, but that doesn’t mean using the site is easy. On the contrary, a lot of their web interface seems dated and counterintuitive, with key features or functions buried under multiple menus and sub-menus. 

Getting the most out of this site requires some trial and error, or at least an experienced guide, which is why we’ve got four essential tips to help you improve your AFF experience and connect with more people. That being said, it also helps to keep an open mind. If you enter your AFF experience with a narrow idea of exactly what you want, you’ll quickly find yourself disappointed. But if you start your search from a place of curiosity and allow yourself to be surprised, you may just discover new things about yourself in the process.

Here are four essential steps for getting the most out of your AdultFriendFinder experience:

Fill out your full AFF profile 

Sure, this is an obvious step with every online dating service, but it’s even more important on AFF, since the site doesn’t entirely rely on a carousel-style presentation of dating profiles. Everything from your age to your gender to your sexuality to your list of personal kinks can help make you more discoverable to other AFF members, so the less you fill out, the harder it is for the site to make your profile discoverable. 

This is true even if your personal kink list is short or leans towards the conventional, or if it’s exhaustive and leans towards the exotic; trust us when we say there are people out there looking for whatever combination of quirks and kinks makes up your sexuality, so taking your time to be precise here can pay serious dividends in the long run.

Also, don’t sleep on videos. Unlike many dating sites that allow only photos, AFF allows its members to upload short videos to their profile. This can be a fantastic way of not only showing others that you’re a real person but also highlighting your personality in a different way. You can also speak on some aspect of your personality that isn’t covered by the generic profile options.

Verify your AFF account as soon as possible

AdultFriendFinder throws up very few barriers to account creation. That makes it very easy for anyone to make an account, but it also means there is a large amount of spam and bot accounts lingering on the site. To combat this, they’ve also created a profile verification system using the Confirm ID service. 

You will need to be comfortable sharing government ID with the site, but the benefits to your profile are massive: photo authentication, age confirmation, and location verification, all of which help others trust that your profile is authentic. When you complete the process, your profile will receive a blue checkmark underneath your profile photo, to the right of your username, which not only helps people identify your profile at a glance but also boosts your visibility in the search results, as preference is given to verified users.

Be selective with your search criteria

If you do opt to use the site’s search function, you’ll quickly realize that you can be extremely selective in who you do and don’t include. And if you know exactly who and what you want, by all means, narrow your search, but if you’re on AFF to be surprised, it’s also worth being less selective from time to time.

For example, if you know you want an in-person date for next week, it obviously makes sense to narrow your location search to people who live near you. But what if you don’t know exactly what you want, or if you’re open to a sultry chat with a stranger half a world away? In that case, distance is irrelevant and you should consider turning that filter off.

On the other hand, there are quite a few filters that are turned off by default that we actually recommend you turn on. For example, the default profile filter shows you all people who have bothered to upload photos, but while that’s a good start, it’s not enough to help you wade through the huge number of users. We strongly recommend searching by Verified/Confirmed users, since those people all proved their identity the same way you did (see previous step), by uploading government-issued identification. 

Another good filter to use is the Last Visit, which by default is set to "All." Because so many people create an account but rarely check it, or go inactive for weeks or months at a time for any number of reasons, it’s a good idea to hone in on accounts that have been active in the last month, as otherwise you risk never hearing back from the people you message. 

Explore the live-chat communities

AdultFriendFinder isn’t a traditional dating website, so you shouldn’t use it like one. The search-and-swipe dating app method is tried and true, but it’s also a bit played out, and one of AFF’s biggest strengths is its larger community offerings.

You can explore its many forums, organized around common interests, or you can venture into a user’s live stream and interact with them and others there. AFF even has a dedicated Stories section, where users can share their memories or try their hand at writing erotica. If this is a talent of yours, you can easily attract people to your profile through your writing, or if you’re a more visual person, you can always host your own webcam stream and see who tunes in. 

For all of the above, AFF tracks not only which stories/streams/group chats are new but also those that are trending, which makes it very easy to jump into a popular discussion or keep up with the latest site news.

Upgrade your AFF membership tier

Unfortunately, it has to be said: you really can’t get the most out of AFF without a paid membership. It is possible to use the site and interact with others without giving them your credit card information, but the site’s best features and functions are all restricted to paying customers, and the advantages in terms of profile visibility, communication options and site functionality are all too great to ignore.

Not only do Gold and VIP members receive special icons on their profiles, but these profiles are given priority in every search, based on any criteria, and because there are thousands of potential profile options for almost every search criteria that isn’t location-based, it’s very difficult to stand out from the crowd as a basic user of the site. 

Additionally, if you opt for the upgraded VIP membership, you’ll unlock an entire section dedicated exclusively to VIPs, which is a bit like entering the velvet-roped area of a night club; it’s where all the most glamorous people are hiding. VIP members even get additional points to spend on digital gifts or lavish on live streamers who catch your attention, which is another great way of standing out from the crowd. 

The learning curve on AdultFriendFinder is steeper than most other dating sites, and much steeper than most dating apps, but if you follow the above tips and are willing to experiment with its vast array of offerings, you’ll encounter more than a few fun surprises along the way.