I worked 14-hour days at a startup. A stage 3 cancer diagnosis changed how I succeeded at Netflix and Meta.

• David Ronca was a software engineer at a small startup before joining Netflix and then Meta.
• Ronca said he used to work 14-hour days before cancer forced work-life balance on him.
• He said he didn't stop working hard but rather started to work intentionally.

This is an as-told-to essay based on a conversation with David Ronca, a retired video systems engineer. He spent 12 years at Netflix and six years at Meta. This story has been edited for length and clarity.

My time at a startup in the early years of my engineering career was like a really bad relationship.

I joined a company that specialized in video playback around 2000. I loved working on video. I consider those seven years like going to school, and I came out with a Ph.D. in practical video systems. But it was the hardest seven years I've ever had in terms of work demands.

I was told when I joined that it would be really important that you're seen around here a lot. So I would work until 7, 8, 9 — sometimes until 10 p.m. Then we started hitting delivery schedules, and I was getting to work around 10 in the morning and going home sometimes at 2:30 in the morning. We're talking 14-hours days, six to seven days a week. Eighty hours a week would've been a break.

We didn't have good direction. We'd be four or five months into solving a hard problem before leadership would stop us and say, "Go work on this instead." It was madness.

We were using work hours to compensate for really bad decisions.

In January 2004, I started feeling ill. On a Sunday, I didn't feel so good, and by midweek, I got worse.

On Friday night, January 17, my wife took me to the emergency room. The doctor told me, "This is likely colon cancer." After the first surgery, he said, "There's no way you have a tumor like this and it's not cancer."

Two weeks earlier, I had been running and feeling great. Within a week, I was in a hospital bed on machines.

It took another week before doctors could do the full surgery. And you spend that time with no idea what they're going to find. That was a very dark week.

My mother died of breast cancer when she was 48. I was 16. Now, I'm in the hospital at 44. I remember thinking, "History doesn't repeat, but it rhymes."

My wife would bring the three kids. My oldest, who was seven, would sit quietly in the room with me. My youngest was two years old. He didn't really know me.

I was looking at my young son, thinking he's going to grow up without a dad.

After surgery, they told me it was stage 3 colon cancer. They removed 60% of my colon. There was lymph node metastasis. My five-year survival prognosis was about 25%.

'I will not work like this'

I went back to work part-time at first.

I was told that I had used up all my sick leave and vacation and was put on California disability, which is around $200 a week.

By that time, this was a company I had spent four years working 24/7 for.

I told my boss, "I'm sorry, I will not do this. I still want to work here, but if I have to leave, I will quit. Because I will not work like this."

From that point on, I didn't. And that was the irony of it all.

I feel like I did some of my best engineering after that. The real change was that I was no longer wasting my brainpower and my thinking on junk.

You don't do good work after 12 hours. You can't work sustained all-nighters and be productive. The quality of your work is going to suck. I don't care who you are. For most mere mortals, you try to work those hours, you're just not going to be doing good work.

I also started making intentional decisions for life, not just work.

I coached soccer for all three of my kids. I went to their games. My daughter did ballet, and we were there all the time. We started planning and taking family vacations — hiking in the mountains, RV road trips, and Maui.

I realized you have to work to have a life, but you have to have a life to work. So you want to stand in the middle of those things.

Hours worked are not a performance metric

In 2007, after several clean scans, I joined Netflix. I delayed accepting the offer until I got my scan report. I didn't want to change jobs yet because if you have positive liver metastasis, you'd be lucky to get two years.

In my interview, Patty McCord, the chief talent officer at the time, told me, "We don't value 24/7 work. You won't be successful here working all the time."

That was almost foreign to me. But it also didn't mean we didn't work hard.

At Netflix, I was part of the early streaming team — maybe 12 to 16 people. We made aggressive schedules, and we didn't miss them. We launched a Netflix app on the original iPad on Day One within two months.

The culture at the company was: If you have to work 24/7 for us to be successful, you've got a problem, and we've got a problem, and we're going to fix it.

Even at Meta, my favorite poster had a silhouette of a rocking horse that said, "Don't mistake motion for progress."

In other words, high performance is not measured by how much work you do. It's measured by how impactful your results are.

This is not to say that it's wrong to work more than eight hours. Instead, you should understand why you're working more hours. It should be intentional. Intentional exceptions.

If I were to tell my younger self anything, it would be to make work-life balance part of your DNA. Learn to take time off.

Don't wait until you have cancer or some other near-death experience to realize this.