Coworker Laid Off Solely For Performance-Related Reasons Warns AI Coming For Everyone

SIOUX CITY, IA—Making the dire prediction shortly after being terminated for substandard work, marketing analyst Ryan Bronson, who was laid off solely for performance-related reasons Wednesday, warned that artificial intelligence was coming for everyone. “Yup, the way things are going, not a single one of us is safe from the threat of AI replacing us,” said Bronson, whose frequent unexcused absences and routine missing of important deadlines had been an ongoing liability for the management team of Edgewater Interactive for the past several months. “Mark my words: With the rise of automation, it’s only a matter of time before you’re all gone. Sure, things like downloading malware onto my work computer or putting incorrect information into investor slide decks gave the powers-that-be an excuse to use me as a sacrificial lamb, but really it could have been any one of us.” Bronson added that the soulless bean counters at the company wouldn’t think twice about saving a few bucks on unfeeling algorithms that didn’t require sexual harassment retraining on five separate occasions.

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