Nurse at ellenor hospice in Northfleet celebrates 25 years caring for patients and their families

A nurse has challenged the preconception a hospice is a “sad” place to work and is “all about death and dying” as she marks a quarter of a century in the job.

May Shurmer, 55, has worked at ellenor hospice based in Northfleet for the past 25 years, supporting and caring for patients with life-limiting illnesses and their families.

The nurse remembers it was the beginning of 2001 when she first walked through the specialist palliative care provider’s doors.

“The UK was in the grip of freezing temperatures, but what I remember it was warmth,” she said.

“I remember thinking, ‘This is where I’m meant to be. This is the place I want to nurse’.”

But May also wanted to highlight how the nature of her work was often misunderstood.

“There’s a public misconception that hospice care is all about death and dying,” she added.

“Of course, that’s part of the journey, but our focus here is keeping people as well as we can and helping them do the things they enjoy.

“It’s not a sad place to work. It’s joyful. There’s lots of conversation, laughter, and friendships.”

Over the years, May, from Gravesend, has worked in several roles, starting on the inpatient ward before moving to the hospice-at-home team, which supports patients living in the community.

For the past seven years, she has worked in the wellbeing service, where patients can come together, talk, and spend time with others in a similar situation.

Many build friendships there. They sit together, share stories, do crafts, listen to music, or spend time in the garden.

Across 25 years, she has seen how early support can make a real difference.

“People arrive with letters full of numbers and abbreviations they don’t understand,” she explained.

“Part of my role is working through it with them, in plain language, so they understand what’s happening and how we can help.”

Many patients feel low or isolated when they first arrive, and part of the hospice’s work is to help change that through social and therapeutic groups.

“Once they start coming to the groups and making friends, it lifts their mood,” May addedd.

“Just having someone to talk to makes a big difference.”

She admits the job is not always easy, especially when patients she has known for a long time die, but the support of colleagues has helped her stay in the role.

“When I first started, people used to talk about a seven-year burnout, but it’s the team that gets you through.

“If there’s a heavy situation, we support each other. It’s never all on one person.”

She added that no two days are the same, and the variety is what keeps the job rewarding.

“There have been times when I thought maybe I’d been in hospice care too long, but nothing else would give me the same job satisfaction.”

She said one of the biggest lessons she has learned from patients is the importance of living in the moment.

“We have to live every day as if it’s our last, because none of us know what’s around the corner,” May adds.

Caring for patients is one of many of May’s roles.

She also helps families with advance care planning, including wills and lasting power of attorney, to reduce anxiety about the future.

“It’s about taking the fear away and helping them feel more settled,” she said.

Asked whether she fears death herself, she said her experience has changed her perspective.

“I’ve seen many people die, and most of the time it’s a very gentle process,” she aded.

“People become more tired, they eat less, they sleep more, and eventually they slip into a deep sleep.

“So no, I’m not afraid. It’s usually very peaceful, and our job is to make sure they are comfortable and not in pain.”

Outside work, May enjoys crafting, gardening, and travelling.

She and her husband Martin, a builder, have been together since they met as teenagers.

They have two children, Sophie, 30, and Callum, 27.

May’s mother-in-law, Barbara, also worked at the hospice.

She was the first sister appointed to the inpatient ward at ellenor, helping to set it up before it even opened to patients.

One of her first duties was choosing the beds, curtains, and equipment.

May’s daughter Sophie followed in her mother’s footsteps and now works in children’s palliative care.

After 25 years in the job, May has no plans to leave.

“Some people are born for different roles in life; I’ve found mine,” she said.

“I love caring for patients. I love working with families. I love being able to make a difference.

“I still haven’t lost the feeling of walking into the building and thinking, ‘I love my job.’”

ellenor is a specialist palliative care provider for adults and children across north Kent and Bexley.