I needed my dad's help to buy my first home and to stay afloat after a layoff. An early transfer of generational wealth is essential.

• Arran Skinner and his wife purchased their first home with his father's help in 2018.
• With high housing prices and high interest rates, he wouldn't have been able to buy otherwise.
• Skinner plans to teach his children financial responsibility, but also be willing to help if they need it.

My wife, Melissa, turned on her heel, hands raised to her mouth.

"It's perfect!" she said, a tear in her eye, "This is our home."

We'd spent the summer of 2018 and much of the previous year exploring various upstate towns with our 1-year-old, hoping to move our small family out of our even smaller Upper East Side apartment and into our first home.

By late August, we finally found it: a three-bedroom Craftsman farmhouse in Peekskill's historic Fort Hill district listed for $374,000. Just an hour from the city and cradled by three hills on the Hudson River, Peekskill sat perfectly in the Goldilocks zone of both price and distance from NYC.

Even with a good salary, significant savings, and dipping into my IRA, I couldn't afford the 20% down payment and other associated costs.

If it weren't for my father's financial help, I wouldn't have been able to buy it.

I like to think of myself as independent

I feel self-sufficient, having made my way in the world on my own. I'd waited tables while studying for my BA, taken a year off, and worked double shifts to pay for my move from London to New York to study at a private art academy in Tribeca. Despite my penny-pinching, I still couldn't afford a house.

Although my wife's family was estranged, I knew I could pick up the phone and ask my dad for help. What luck to have a parent who could step in.

Others are not so lucky.

If you spend any time online, you know the wealth disparity between generations is a popular topic

Gen Z and millennials often blame Gen X and baby boomers for the unforgiving economy, while the older generations blame the younger for what they perceive as excessive spending. The truth is, it is harder to buy a house today than it was 40 or 50 years ago.

In the mid-70s, a house similar to my house in Peekskill — three bedrooms, one and a half bathrooms — would cost somewhere between $30,000 and $65,000, as opposed to the $ 400,000-plus it would cost today.

There are several reasons for this price increase. Chief among these is that house prices grew faster than incomes, so the down payment, which is essential to securing a home, increased dramatically relative to income.

Today's buyers face a double bind

While prices are historically high, interest rates are also elevated, resulting in record monthly payments that are unaffordable for most buyers. Other factors also play a part, including the supply of homes, which has not kept pace with demand; investors and institutions now competing for entry-level homes; and a range of now higher non-housing costs.

Essentials such as healthcare, childcare, education, and transportation now take up a far higher percentage of household budgets than in decades past.

What happens when the next generation can't buy a house or set down roots? There's less community. Less investment in our neighborhoods. The poor, who are increasingly the middle class, are priced out, and their children suffer.

This type of generational wealth bottleneck is a modern development

The Silent and Greatest Generations passed significant wealth to baby boomers, who also benefited from the mid-century economic conditions, including affordable housing, rising wages, accessible education, and stable pensions. Many boomers inherited additional assets from their parents and grandparents, giving them a substantial advantage in both real estate and financial wealth.

This intergenerational transfer, combined with decades of rising asset values, has positioned boomers far ahead of younger generations.

Meanwhile, millennials and Gen Z struggle to buy their first homes — facing high housing costs, burdened by mounting student debt, slower wage growth, and fewer retirement benefits.

With the help of their elders, younger generations might have a better chance.

When my Dad picked up the phone, he immediately jumped into action

With his pen, notepad, and his big old-fashioned desk calculator in hand, he laid out possible options, wrote down figures, fired off rapid questions, and analyzed our budget. He decided to take out equity in his own house, which he could transfer to us as a $40,000 gift. This would help us secure the down payment and make a good market-rate offer.

When my son's school district refused to pay for his special-needs education, and lawyer invoices and other bills were stacking up, and then I faced the double-whammy of losing my job, my wife and I spent a year and a half pulling together whatever funds we could, but at a certain point, I had to swallow my pride, assuage my guilt, and again pick up the phone.

I had to put up with some scolding and shaming about my financial recklessness, which I handily and frankly disputed. However, when all was said and done, my father put it all aside and focused on the problem at hand, yet again.

As a parent myself, I've learned that parenting is a balance between introducing your children to the complexities of the world and setting them up for the best possible outcomes.

My wife and I have encouraged financial responsibility in our two small children

We're teaching them to earn money through chores, or setting up shop to sell their artwork, and they choose how to spend their earnings. This practice will hopefully ensure that any financial inheritance we can pass down is used responsibly.

If we see our children struggle to make it in the world, we can tell ourselves that we had it harder, our childhood was tougher. Or we can reach down and help them up, just like my father did.