Rest Of Lakers Trying To Act Casual While LeBron James Spanks Bronny

LOS ANGELES—As they stared intently at their phones and pretended not to notice the steady rhythm of smacks echoing through the locker room, the Los Angeles Lakers were reportedly trying their best to act casual Tuesday while LeBron James spanked his son Bronny in full view of the team. “Wow, yikes, he’s really laying into the kid,” said a visibly uncomfortable Marcus Smart, kneading his neck with a massage gun to block out the sound of Bronny—pants dropped, bent over his father’s knee—begging to be set down while LeBron angrily slapped his bare buttocks over and over. “Not entirely sure what happened, but I think Bronny cussed at his mom or something? I don’t know, not my business, but I’m sure LeBron’s got his reasons. This is the NBA, and at this level you really can’t be disobeying or back-talking like that.” At press time, a sniffling, teary-eyed Bronny was reportedly seen exiting the facility after LeBron ordered him to go to his room and think about what he had done.

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