Both of my parents died before my son was born. My grandmother ended up being my son's grandma too.

• I lost my parents young and relied on my grandma for support.
• She became a second parent to me, and a grandmother to my son.
• Her love shaped how I parent and value time together.

My mom died when I was young, so I grew up spending summers with her mom in South Dakota. I loved that time with her, but I often only saw her that one time of year. I lived back in Florida with my dad for the rest of the year.

When my grandma was older, she embraced the snowbird lifestyle and spent half the year in Florida to escape the Midwest winters. I was already in my early 20s, but I was still grateful to finally live close to her, and I took full advantage of it.

It was always so easy for me to spend time with her

I joined her for church on Sundays, and we often went out to lunch. Even as a young adult, my idea of a good time was waking up early on a Saturday and going to yard sales with her to hunt deals together. I spent so much time with her that when she went back up north in the Spring, my entire social calendar would shift.

By the time I had my son, my father had also died, so my own grandma really ended up being a grandmother for my son, too. Because both of my parents were gone, I wasn't really counting on having a lot of support, but my grandmother ended up being there for me more than I expected anyone to be.

My grandma cared for us the way a parent might

She always kept an eye on us, always snagging clothes on sale for my son, having us over for dinner often, and even helping me by watching my son when I needed to work or just get a haircut and couldn't find childcare. Looking back, she seemed like such a Wonder Woman to me that I didn't fully consider her age.

In her 70s, taking care of a toddler would have been a huge undertaking. But she always said yes when I needed help, and she really nurtured my son when he was with her. They went for nature walks together, drew pictures, and played games, which is what she did with me at his age, too.

I can see more clearly now what a devotion of love that was, because I realize how tired she must have been after some of those visits. Even if my son was getting over a cold, and no one else wanted to watch him, she would. I think that was her way of rooting for me, because sometimes working and caring for a child alone felt impossible.

My son always just thought of her as our grandma

He was 8 years old when she died, so he was old enough to always remember her. I can tell by what he relays to me or what we remember together, like simply birdwatching with her binoculars on her ocean-facing patio, that the time he had with her left an impact.

If there's one thing I can see that my grandma passed on to me was how to spend quality time with those I love. That's because when I think of her now, that's all I can remember about her — all of the simple things she would do with my son or me that made us feel so special, loved, and seen.

I'd like to think that, even though I grew up without my mom, I feel really lucky to have had her mom there for me as I navigated becoming a parent myself. In a way, my son experienced what it might have been like to have my mom as a grandma, and I got to have a part of my mom by my side, supporting me as a new parent.