Trump Forced to Admit He Drove Kennedy Center Into the Ground

Donald Trump has decided to close the Kennedy Center entirely.

Starting in July, for the next two years, the performing arts space will undergo “construction, revitalization, and complete rebuilding,” according to a Trump Truth Social post Sunday evening.

The decision follows a year of cancelled performances by a litany of artists who oppose Trump administration’s agenda, Trump’s ousting of the center’s Democratic board members, and the center’s recent, potentially illegal name change.

Trump claimed that he deemed the decision necessary after a “year review” of the center, suggesting that he had anticipated an overhaul of the historically apolitical arts space as soon as he returned to high office.

“Based on these findings, and totally subject to Board approval, I have determined that the fastest way to bring The Trump Kennedy Center to the highest level of Success, Beauty, and Grandeur, is to cease Entertainment Operations for an approximately two year period of time, with a scheduled Grand Reopening that will rival and surpass anything that has taken place with respect to such a Facility before,” Trump wrote.

The center will shutter for the project on July 4, “in honor of the 250th Anniversary of our Country.”

“Financing is completed, and fully in place!” Trump continued. “This important decision, based on input from many Highly Respected Experts, will take a tired, broken, and dilapidated Center, one that has been in bad condition, both financially and structurally for many years, and turn it into a World Class Bastion of Arts, Music, and Entertainment, far better than it has ever been before.”

Long before Trump’s meddling, the Kennedy Center was widely considered a premier, world-class arts institution. But since the White House became directly involved in its operations and programming, its normally star-studded lineup has fallen apart.

In December, the president suddenly decided to rename the venerated cultural institution “The Donald J. Trump and the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts,” in a flagrant rejection of the laws that created the center in the first place.

Kennedy’s family was quick to rip the president apart for the half-baked idea Sunday.

“I’ve determined that due to this change in schedule, it’s best for me to close this center down and rebuild a new center that will bear my name, which will surely get everybody to stop talking about the fact that everybody’s canceling… right?” mocked Maria Shriver, the 35th president’s niece, on X.

Kennedy’s grandson, Manhattan congressional candidate Jack Schlossberg, bit harder, arguing on X that Trump could try but would never succeed in killing Kennedy’s legacy.

“Trump can take the Kennedy Center for himself. He can change the name, shut the doors, and demolish the building. He can try to kill JFK,” Schlossberg wrote online. “But JFK is kept alive by us now rising up to remove Donald Trump, bring him to justice, and restore the freedoms generations fought for.”