Reality star Heather Gay shocked by society's glaring double standards: 'Drop a few pounds and you're a hero'
Heather Gay knows the challenges of maintaining an impeccable appearance – whether on camera, through her lucrative beauty business or as a former member of the Mormon church.
The "Real Housewives of Salt Lake City" star was surprised, though, by how differently she was treated after shedding 30 pounds with weight loss shots. Gay admitted that pursuing her health and using GLP-1's truly changed her entire relationship with food and her body.
"It's because, for the first time in my life, I have a little bit of power and control over something that's baffled me," Gay said. Critics, though, still found a way to pick apart the reality star.
"I was a pretty outspoken, harsh person when I was heavier, and everyone just thought it was funny," Gay said before explaining, "When I'm a harsh, outspoken person with less weight, I'm a raging b---h."
Despite dropping the weight, the Atkins spokesperson was adamant that the only thing that changed about her was a number on the scale.
"Everyone thinks that I am a different person now. I am the exact same person," Gay said. "I like the exact same foods. I like the exact same activities. I like the exact same people. The smallest change is who I am. The biggest change is my pants size. That's really it.
WATCH: Heather Gay felt the world was 'disappointed' in how she looked overweight
"That's been the hardest thing to reconcile is that attention from people is now so positive, whereas before it was pretty negative about my body and looks really."
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Gay's no stranger to putting on a brave face and has used her voice – and television star status – to campaign against the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
From a young age, the bestselling author says she was taught that "perfection is attainable" in the Mormon church.
"As a culture, you know when I was a Mormon – we want our lives to be beautiful. We want our lives to be like Instagram squares, and I think we have a very gendered culture," Gay said. "I think that culture bleeds into us having a lot of pressure on us as women to look a certain way. It's a patriarchal culture and the only way you really have power or currency is through your beauty. And that can be discouraging if it's not in your wheelhouse."
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While Gay has been outspoken against the church between her "Bad Mormon" memoir and "Surviving Mormonism" docuseries, she was surprised by how many people supported her weight loss efforts and not her desire to leave the church.
"I mean, everybody wants you to lose weight. The before and after – everyone cheered me on. Not one person said, ‘Are you sure this is what you wanna do? Are you sure this is a better choice for you or your family,’" she said.
"It is shocking how it's kind of universally celebrated – weight loss – but when you unload something much heavier with much more weight on my heart, mind and soul, that was criticized heavily. But, you drop a few pounds, and you're a hero."
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She noted there's a certain kind of "secrecy and shame" around not being born perfect in Mormon society. The mother-of-three maintains open and honest communication within her own household of women, in an attempt to change the narrative about physical and personal beauty standards.
"I want the focus with my daughters to be on fueling our bodies in a way that they can carry us through life and accomplish everything we want them to do," she said. "And you have to remember that the majority of my life, people considered me to be totally overweight. I didn't consider myself to be anything other than who I was.
"But I was very aware of how the world wanted more from me and was disappointed in how I looked. And so to be able to lose weight and feel healthy and support my body in a way that feels like a good example to my daughters and also without shame or secrecy has just been a new chapter for me."
Gay praised Atkins for helping her maintain her weight loss and also providing accessible snack options for her family.
"My kids can see that I can be healthy, maintain my weight loss and still eat delicious normal snacks and treats," she said.
"Like our cupboards are full, the fridge is full, like. We never have to jump in the car to go somewhere without asking if we need a protein shake. Do you need a bar? Do you need something to get you through?"