I help women return to professional work. These are the mistakes I see most often.

• Returning to work after a career break felt overwhelming to me.
• My HR background helped me rethink my job search strategy.
• I see the same mistakes holding other women back.

Eight years ago, I felt completely overwhelmed in my job search. Not only was I reentering the paid workforce after a career break, but I was also attempting to pivot into a new field and finding a job that fit my life as a parent.

After receiving yet another rejection, I drowned my sorrows in a pint of ice cream, wondering how anyone is supposed to figure this out.

That moment marked a turning point in my approach to job applications. Instead of sending out applications at random, I leaned on my more than 15 years of HR experience to create a strategic plan.

That shift ultimately led to multiple job offers and, more importantly, a role that met my priorities as a mom. It's the same approach I now share with other women looking to return to the paid workforce after their career break.

After holding focus groups, hosting in-person workshops, and working 1:1 with clients, here are the top three mistakes that women make when reentering the workforce and, more importantly, ways to overcome them.

Letting connections go cold

When you take a step back for parenting or any caregiving role, it's easy to get consumed by the endless days of showing up for others. Everything else, including maintaining professional relationships, ends up on the back burner.

Months and years pass, and those connections go cold, making it feel awkward to reach out when the time comes to return to work.

Fortunately, it's easy to rekindle connections at any point, and the sooner you do so, the better, even if your return seems far off.

A few simple ways to keep relationships warm include:

• Asking a past coworker to catch up over coffee once or twice a year
• Sending a quick email or text to a former boss to check in every few months
• Commenting on or sharing an article posted by a former client on LinkedIn

Spending even a small amount of time maintaining these connections now will make it a lot easier to lean on them later when you're ready to reenter the paid workforce.

Lack of clarity

One of the biggest misconceptions when it comes to returning to work is that it's best to apply to anything and take what you can get in order to get your foot back in the door.

The truth is, it's far more effective to get clear on what you want and need from your next role before you start applying.

Clarity leads to a more targeted job search, allowing you to focus on specific industries, companies, and roles. It also ensures that your résumé, LinkedIn profile, and elevator pitch all tell the same story.

If you're unsure about the direction to pursue, taking the time upfront to reflect can make all the difference. Ask yourself:

• What does a fulfilling life look like, and what do I need from my next role to support it?
• What did I enjoy and not enjoy in my previous positions, paid or unpaid?
• What skills and talents do I want to use in my next role?

There are no right or wrong answers, only what's right for your situation.

Over-explaining and apologizing

I once interviewed two people who had taken a career break. One was a woman and the other a man.

While I was interviewing the woman, she kept apologizing for the gap in her résumé.

After the third apology, I paused the interview and told her there was no need to apologize.

To which she replied, "I'm sorry."

Compare this to the man I interviewed.

He took control of his narrative, stating that he had worked for 20 years, decided to take a few years off to go golfing and fishing, and was now ready to return to work.

Taking control of your narrative is key. It's your story, own it with confidence. There is no need to apologize for taking a career break, nor is it necessary to over-explain your reason for doing so.

Keep your answer confident and concise, and ultimately tie it back to why you are the best candidate for the role.

A career break doesn't erase your experience; it adds to it.