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When my kids went to college, I missed our family dinner nights. Virtual get-togethers give me the connection I crave.

The author missed family dinners when her sons were in college.
  • When my sons were growing up, we would have Sunday night family dinners.
  • Now that they're in college, I send pizzas to their dorms, and we all eat together via FaceTime.
  • Although nothing will replace being in person together, this time let's all connect as a family.

In my family, Sunday was always family dinner night. Whether the Packers earned another triumphant win, a swim meet went late, or a last-minute homework assignment loomed on Monday morning, that time to eat and enjoy each other's company was an appointment that could not be canceled.

When my two boys headed off to college, Sundays became more subdued. Yes, my husband and I opened a bottle of wine and enjoyed our dinner leisurely, but I craved more. The meal needed something; it needed that seasoning from my sons' snarky retort, a roaring laugh, and even that persistent eye roll.

Luckily, I created a solution.

I order pizza with a side of family togetherness

Since I missed our weekly family dinners, I started a monthly family pizza night across the miles.

The idea is simple: I pick a day and time, compile the orders, and everyone gets a pizza delivery at the same time. Whether it is my oldest, who wants copious amounts of meat on that slice, or the younger one, who prefers variety, I order enough for everyone — including all the roommates and friends. Then we jump on video calls and chat while we eat.

The phrase "everyone is family at the table" is cliché, but everyone is welcome to join. No, I do not force friends to chat, but they must appreciate my "rules." It is not rapid-fire Socratic questioning, but people cannot just devour food and disappear.

Everyone sends pizza photos, curious comments, and FaceTimes while we are eating. Yes, it sounds like the dinner parties people hosted in 2020, but it works. We catch up, laugh, and just have a collective moment.

Sure, I cannot cajole the boys as easily through a screen, but I can get a response that is more than just a one-word text reply.

It's the only way to connect with my kids while they're in college

Of course, some people will say I'm bribing my kids to interact with me, but it doesn't matter to me. The reality is that family traditions are not just holidays, birthdays, or other special occasions. Making time for each other is vital, and food can be the catalyst.

The author's son and his friend eat pizza together.

At, around, and by the table, I have learned much about my sons over the years. It was more than excitement over a good grade or disappointment about a lost swim race. I have seen their better understanding of personal relationships, their appreciation for culture, and their interest in family history.

Listening to their word choices and argument construction, and even just watching them sit quietly, is far more telling than another call or text when they are away from home. I might have nurtured them with food, but they grew into the men that they are today because of our family connection.

This current pizza dinner might be a slice of what we had, but it is one that I crave even more.

I hope we'll have pizza night for years to come

While my pizza night family dinner solution works with college kids, I look forward to keeping this tradition going long after they graduate. Whether one is in Florida and the other is halfway around the world, we can and should make our family a priority. Every overlooked opportunity is a missed one.

Since pizza, or some version of flatbread, can be found anywhere in the world, there are no excuses for skipping this dinner. Even on a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean, family pizza night is on the schedule. No matter how I slice it, the concept works.

For any parent looking to keep family bonds strong, creative solutions are all around. Whether it is a pizza, grandma's cookies, or a Big Mac, food is a form of communication. My family tradition tells my boys that the time we spend together nourishes me far beyond the food served on the plate.

Read the original article on Business Insider
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