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We are centimillionaires. Here are the biggest money mistakes we made with our kids — and how we fixed them.

Bobby and Sofia Castro, center, have changed the way they approach money with their children by increasing transparency — and responsibility.
  • Bobby and Sofia Castro made nine figures building a financial services firm and a real estate portfolio.
  • For years, they struggled with how to talk to their children about money.
  • Here's how they built a plan around wealth and inheritance, and how that improved their family dynamic.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Bobby Castro and Sofia Castro, the founders of Ortsac, a family office that manages their investments and properties. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Bobby: We've been married for 35 years.

We have two children: Priscilla, 34, and Brandon, 29. They're both married, and we have three grandchildren.

I only have a ninth-grade education, and Sofia only has a 10th-grade education. We were both raised in Miami, and when we met, I was 22, and Sofia was 18. Within six months, we got pregnant, got married, and moved into Sofia's parents' house.

Sofia: My dad worked three jobs to maintain seven children, and Bobby's mom worked three jobs to maintain four children. We come from zero money; there were no hand-me-downs.

When I met Bobby, he said, "I don't know how, but I'm going to create my own business. I'm going to work for myself."

Bobby: I was always a motivator, never an executor.

School wasn't for me. When I told my mom that I didn't want to do it anymore, she supported me. She was a waitress all her life, so I quit and worked at a restaurant.

I heard conversations at tables, people talking about business, a different type of conversation than I was having at home.

Curiosity sparked, and I said to my mom, I'm going to be a millionaire. I spent a lot of time talking about it, but didn't do anything about it.

That changed many years later, when I was living at my in-laws, paying them nothing, no job. I walked outside one afternoon, when everyone else was coming home from work. Sofia pulled up in a black Mustang that her parents bought us for $600, and behind her was Priscilla; they were both smiling at me.

I realized I had to get out of this rut. I got a job at the Rusty Pelican in Key Biscayne, and during the day, I sold memberships for the Better Business Bureau.

I was addicted to classified ads. Anything that said, earn $5,000 a month, become a millionaire. There was an opportunity to be an equipment broker — the middleman between lenders and business owners who need things like a forklift, a grill, an ultrasound.

Sofia's mom lent us $1,700 to give it a try. We spent all of our time, energy, and focus on it. It eventually turned into BHG Financial — a company that loaned money to professionals.

Winning at work, but struggling at home

Sofia: By the time our daughter was five, we were making a nice living, and when our son was born, we were making more than $500,000 a year.

We wanted to give them what we didn't have. Our parents gave us love and a roof over our heads and made sure we had food on our plates, but we were very poor.

We didn't want our kids to struggle the way we did.

We raised them with good morals — respect, kindness — and they never got into any trouble. But we realized, as they got older, that they'd have no clue how to survive in the real world if we took away the financial backing.

We didn't educate them enough. Starting in junior high, we should have taught them how to handle money, how to create, and how to think about what they want out of life.

Bobby: We made some mistakes with our children. We were failing with Priscilla and Brandon.

We said with Priscilla, our first, we're going to spoil the heck out of her. She's going to have everything.

She was on "My Super Sweet 16." She got a Mercedes SL 500. The whole nine yards.

At another point, she wanted to start a shoe business. She didn't have a business plan, but we invested because that's our baby girl. I didn't do any due diligence. That was a great learning lesson for us, as well as for Priscilla, but mistakes are the pivots.

Sofia: Priscilla went to college, but school wasn't for her. We told her she had two choices: either come and work for us — at that point, we had started investing in real estate — or look for a career.

We weren't going to allow our kids to sit there and do nothing, be trust-fund babies.

The first rule? Talk about money

Bobby: When Priscilla and Brandon came to work for our family office, they weren't excited or stimulated about it. They were just being given money without having to ask.

We heard that 70% of families lose their wealth after the second generation, and we realized we needed help to break the family curse.

So we reached out to Legacy Capitals, a consulting and advising firm, and created a 100-year legacy plan. We have regular meetings to discuss our assets — our various trusts — what we need to do to preserve them and how to grow them.

Since then, it's night and day. Our son owns apartments that he invests in and is responsible for financing the family office. Our son-in-law is involved in our real estate investment. They are putting in the hours and earning their money.

Sofia: Our kids are very involved in writing the agreement.

We're putting in rules, regulations, and directions. If they want to open a business or go into charity, how are they going to get money for that?

There are suggestions, too.

One mistake Bobby and I made was never having them get a job outside our family business or internships over the summers. That's something that we're putting in the family manual: experience the outside world.

Bobby: Another rule: No family member sues another family member. That's one of our core values, because money creates friction.

We are also working on each family member's role and responsibilities.

A lot of people haven't had conversations with their children about their family's finances, and they're in their 70s or 80s. It's all about communication for us. We have to talk about money, the rules around the money, and how we are going to impact the world.

We got to it a little too late in life. Our children are doing it correctly with our grandchildren. They can benefit from what we learned. They are really great parents. And it's helped my relationship with them. We travel as a family; they live close by, and we get together and have fun without talking shop.

I'm seeing so many strides forward. Just this week, they closed on an apartment building together. Independently, with their own money, they teamed up with their cousins and bought an 18-unit multifamily apartment building.

I stepped back, let them be in the driver's seat. We are getting there.

Read the original article on Business Insider
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