Entire French Populace Moved To Tears By Cartoon Of Robot Holding Flower

PARIS—Clutching their chests in wonder at the newly unveiled work by an anonymous street artist, all 68 million members of the French populace were reportedly brought to tears Friday by a cartoon of a robot holding a flower. “Technology has made us into zombies, and yet here is a robot showing us the truth,” said 43-year-old Clémence Lefèvre, echoing the sentiment of the entire French populace, whose economy ground to a halt as millions of police officers, nannies, mimes, pastry chefs, priests, and rebellious beatniks alike abruptly stopped their affairs to march down the Champs-Élysées and raise their voices as one to thank the robot. “This work is, how do you say…transcendent. It expresses an emotion beyond love and despair, for it is a reflection of love and despair itself. It is subversive like the art of Marcel Duchamp, and yet universal, speaking to all who suffer from ennui and an addiction to their phone. This is better than any work in that bourgeois temple of uninspired slop, the Louvre. Mon Dieu, what have we done to Mother Earth?” At press time, an elderly farmer in a horse-drawn wagon was reported to have rolled up to the cartoon, wordlessly placed his hand on the robot’s heart, and collapsed into a peaceful death.

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