We matched on Bumble. I ended up moving from California to Virginia to live with him.

• Life-long Californian, Marissa Chiechi, moved from Los Angeles to Alexandria, Virginia, in 2023.
• Chiechi relocated for her then-boyfriend, now husband, after his new job brought him to the East Coast.
• While she did feel lonely at first, the move made her a stronger person, she said.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Marissa Chiechi, 32, who relocated from Los Angeles to Alexandria, Virginia, in 2023. This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

In 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic, I met my now-husband, Rejoy, on Bumble. I was born and raised in California. He's originally from Texas, but at the time, he was in Redondo Beach on a contract assignment with NASA.

Our first date was actually a double date. We had a socially distanced picnic in the park — very COVID. After that, we ended up texting constantly. With everything going on, we got close quickly, and before long, we were seeing each other all the time.

It didn't take long for things to get serious. We met in May 2020, and by September — around his birthday — we took a trip to Joshua Tree. That was when he told me: he didn't know exactly when the move would happen, but his job would likely take him to the East Coast. He wanted to be upfront and not spring it on me later.

I really appreciated his honesty. And, honestly, the idea of moving excited me. I've never been the biggest fan of California. I've always wanted four seasons, which you just don't get there. I'm not a beach person, either.

So when the possibility of leaving for the East Coast came up, it didn't feel like a hard decision. In my heart, I've always felt like an East Coast girl. I love fast-paced environments and big cities. Rejoy and I are also both big travelers, and it felt like it could be the start of an adventure.

We moved to the East Coast — just not where I thought

About six to eight months after that conversation, he told me he needed to be on the East Coast at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland.

I immediately assumed that moving to the East Coast meant we'd be living in New York, and I was like, "Of course I'll go." I've been to New York more than 20 times, and I love it there. I'm also probably one of the few people who genuinely enjoys taking the subway.

But his job wasn't sending him to New York City. It was sending him to Alexandria, Virginia.

I knew absolutely nothing about Alexandria, and at first, I assumed it was just going to be kind of in the middle of nowhere in Virginia. When I learned we'd be only about 15 minutes from Washington, D.C., I felt hopeful I'd still get the city energy I really wanted.

Even so, I got a lot of "You're leaving California?! Everyone wants to live in California!" from friends and family. People also tried to scare me about the weather, too. They kept asking things like, "Are you ready to be snowed in?" and "What about freezing temperatures?"

However, once I got there, it wasn't nearly as extreme as my circle made it out to be. I even bought a brand-new North Face coat that's been sitting in my closet ever since. I've barely worn it.

The hardest part of the move was shipping my car; it cost about $2,000. Luckily, I did get to put a few tubs of clothes in the car. Rejoy's brother is also a flight attendant, so he gets to fly for free, which means free checked bags. So I packed a lot of luggage and sent it with him.

I grew to love Alexandria

The move has turned out to be one of the best decisions I've ever made.

We got to Alexandria in 2021. It's a little Hallmark city. It's so cute, quaint, historic, and genuinely charming. It has more of a small-town feel, but with a diverse mix of people. It seems like a lot of people are drawn to it because they really enjoy a slower pace of life.

And getting from Alexandria into DC is easy. There's a beautiful bridge, and the drive is only about 10 minutes. The scenery is incredible, and you even pass through Maryland.

The apartment we rented in Alexandria was selected sight unseen, though we did one virtual tour before signing the lease. It was a one-bedroom, 720-square-foot unit that cost $2,453 a month.

Surprisingly, our rent was more expensive than what I had been paying in California. On top of that, we each paid between $350 and $400 a month to keep our cars in the parking garage.

Virginia gets all four seasons, which was one of my favorite parts of living there. We had a really nice view from our apartment balcony, and I could literally see all the fall foliage and watch the leaves change color throughout the year. It was so beautiful.

Moving to a new place can feel lonely

When I first moved to Alexandria, I definitely had moments when I felt down and really missed my friends and family. I didn't really know anyone there, and while I had a few friends who were in the DC area who would come visit, it could still feel lonely.

Rejoy could fly for free, so he visited his family in Texas whenever he wanted. I didn't have that option; I had to pay for my trips. So I didn't go home as much, but whenever I was feeling especially homesick, I'd find a way to make a visit happen.

For a while, it really did feel like it was just the two of us. That forced me to get comfortable with being alone and to genuinely be happy with myself—it helped me learn a lot more about who I am.

Eventually, a few people from my high school moved to Alexandria, and we became friends with their friends. Our circle slowly grew, but it took a long time.

Looking back, it was empowering. I hadn't really moved anywhere before, but I've always been a traveler and someone who wants to explore. I remember thinking, "Even if this doesn't work out, at least I'm in a new place."

Stay open to new opportunities

In 2023, we got engaged. We were in Cappadocia to watch the hot air balloons, and I had no idea it was coming. The entire trip was a funny experience.

He had told me, very sneakily, to pack a nice dress, but our luggage got lost. To make it even more ironic, the weather was bad, and the hot air balloons didn't even take off that day.

In our engagement photos, the balloons are actually photoshopped in by the photographer. While it almost didn't feel "right" in the moment, it was still really special.

In 2024, Rejoy's contract ended, so we naturally had to ask ourselves: What do we do next? We didn't really want to stay in Alexandria because the type of home we wanted wasn't affordable. So it made sense for us to leave Virginia and reevaluate.

We moved in April 2025. For now, I'm back in Los Angeles, and he's in Texas. He just accepted another job in Austin, so I'll be moving there next. I'm really excited.

If there's one thing this whole experience has taught me, it's to stay open to opportunities and whatever comes next. Time goes by so fast, and I want to spend it traveling, being present, and fully experiencing what life has to offer.