Wild-Eyed Andy Cohen Announces ‘The Real Housewives Of My Attic’

AMAGANSETT, NY—Saying he couldn’t wait for Bravo’s audience to meet the dynamic cast of his latest production, a shaking, wild-eyed Andy Cohen took to Instagram Live Monday to announce he had just greenlit The Real Housewives Of My Attic. “Based on the scuttling and scampering noises I hear coming from up there 24 hours a day, I know these attic-dwelling divas are going to deliver the drama,” said the Real Housewives executive producer, who went on to hold up his phone to a hatch in the ceiling of his Hamptons home, capturing only the sound of his own ragged breathing. “These bold and bossy women aren’t afraid of anything or anyone, including law enforcement officers who say there’s nobody up there and tell me if I make one more call I’m going to be fined. Wait, shh—they’re whispering right now. You hear that? ‘Come find us, Andy, come find us.’ I think it’s a tagline. I’m absolutely obsessed. And soon, you will be too.” Cohen was later overheard preparing to host the show’s debut episode by striking a wall with a sledgehammer and screaming, “You can’t hide yourselves forever!”

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