MAGA is weirdly thirsty for Barron Trump

To a non-MAGA observer, it is an odd thing that Eric Trump has lengthy opinions about his younger brother’s sex life. In an October edition of the “PBD Podcast,” the host praised Barron Trump as “tall” and “witty” before inquiring about reports that the 19-year-old New York University student shut down an entire floor of Trump Tower for “a date.” The elder Trump, 42, responded with a disturbingly long diatribe about his younger brother’s sex life, comparing him to Van Wilder, a character from an inexcusable sex comedy released four years before Barron’s birth.

“Shutting down a floor of Trump Tower is like PG-13 versus where my mind would have been at his at his age in terms of the dating scene,” Eric Trump said. “But honestly, Barron’s a great kid.” His comments cemented the impression that he’s probably never said more than three words to a half-sibling born two wives after his own mother.

Eric Trump’s response was uncomfortable, but there’s a reason he leaned into the moment. He is likely quite aware of how much right-wing media is invested in portraying Barron Trump as a dashing sex symbol and international playboy. It’s so silly that many loyal MAGA posters on X fell for a tweet suggesting that Donald Trump should acquire Greenland by marrying his son off to Princess Isabella of Denmark. It was obviously a joke, but for those who have pickled their brains on the Fox News Cinematic Universe, casting the NYU student and son of a failed fashion model as an American prince made perfect sense. It’s all they’ve been hearing about this lanky teenager for months now.

The buzz started at his father’s inauguration, when Barron Trump shook hands with Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, which was treated as an act of magnanimity on the level with writing a billion dollar check to a cancer charity. MAGA media outlets highlighted social media posts predicting Barron “will be our President one day” and calling him a “very classy act” or just saying “WOW.”

The cringeworthy Barron thirst has continued since then. In August, host Jesse Watters suggested — and this time it wasn’t a joke — that he should marry 28-year-old famously white actress Sydney Sweeney to make “the greatest political dynasty in American history.”

In October, upon hearing that Barron Trump had a date, Watters and guest Julie Banderas claimed that “this guy’s got game” and hoped “something good came out of that date.” Watters insisted the kid is “a ladies’ man” because he’s “tall and handsome.”

Barron Trump is indeed tall, with the number 6 feet, 7 inches floated around, though with the cautionary note that the Trumps lie about everything. But it is true that, on the rare occasion they’re seen together, Barron towers over his father. The younger Trump’s height appears to be the sole real-life quality of his that MAGA media is hanging this “ladies man” image on. It certainly is the only aspect of his son that Donald Trump has taken notice of, as he brags constantly about how tall his son is. But in the apparent drive to make Barron an all-American crush object, there have been efforts to suggest he has other attributes.

Melania Trump has given her son credit for her husband’s 2024 victory, telling Fox News, “He brought in success because he knew exactly who his father needs to contact and to talk to.” Donald Trump also credited his son for bringing “the youth vote by 36 points” — another false claim, as Harris won the 18-24 demographic with 54% of the vote.

MAGA social media swoons over how rich Barron is, ignoring that it’s only because rich people use the Trump family’s crypto accounts as a way to buy favor without leaving a paper trail. The president even tried to pass his son off as a “smart guy” with “an unbelievable aptitude in technology.” His evidence? Barron was able to turn on a laptop that his 79-year-old father struggled with.

Except for the gullible MAGA masses, the contradictions in the story of Barron Trump as the Sexiest Man Alive are too glaring to be ignored. The “ladies man” doesn’t seem to be seen with many ladies. To the contrary, the New York Times reported that Barron has a close relationship with accused rapist Andrew Tate, who is most famous for offering dating “advice” to preteen boys and deeply immature men too ignorant to see that it’s obvious nonsense. In a story planted by Trump-friendly sources in People magazine, there was an attempt to spin this with claims that Barron Trump is too busy with “school, a family who dotes on him and a career of his own” to date right now. 

The family’s insecurity over this surged into view last week, when the alleged “ladies man” was photographed doing the lamest possible thing on New Year’s Eve: hanging out with his parents at Mar-a-Lago. Stories about Melania Trump’s displeasure over the leaked photos were immediately pushed in the tabloid press, along with quotes like, “It’s very understood that guests don’t bother Barron.”

While this may scare members out of further embarrassing the college kid with future photos of his very parent-centric social activities, having his mom swoop in to protect him does not bode well for the efforts to paint him as the family’s romantic princeling.

---

Want more Amanda Marcotte on politics? Sign up for her free newsletter, Standing Room Only, now also on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.

---

Still, there’s a huge MAGA audience ready to gobble down stories about how the Trump family is producing hot young celebrities like, say, the Kennedy family has a long history of doing. Along with Barron, they’ve been pushing out Kai Trump — who is a little more game to speak on-camera — to do the podcast tour, swearing up and down that being the daughter of Don Jr., the eldest Trump sibling, is awesome. But even she can’t escape the MAGA hunger to turn her uncle Barron, who is only one year older than her, into a proper celebrity. On a recent episode of Logan Paul’s podcast, she was prompted to talk about Barron, and she tried, though all she could say is he’s “cool” and agree that he is, indeed, very tall.

Perhaps the funniest bit of the Barron Trump thirst, which arrives courtesy of Margaret Hartmann at New York magazine — is a viral AI video of a badly-animated Barron singing and playing piano on “America’s Got Talent.” And yes, you best believe he is not singing any pop genre that an NYU sophomore would like, but instead treacly worship music with painfully clichéd lyrics. The comments are a mish-mash of people praising the Trumps and Jesus, while others beg viewers to recognize the video is fake.

The whole situation is an encapsulation of why the Trump PR machine wants Barron Trump to be a sex symbol and, beyond his obvious inadequacy for such a role, why the enterprise is doomed. (To be clear, I am casting no shade, as most people don’t make the cut in the contest to be an international crush object.)

The MAGA movement lives in perpetual jealousy of mainstream culture, attributing their lack of coolness to a “liberal” conspiracy to shut right-wing folks out of celebrity. But, as demonstrated by the uncool musical acts that showed up to perform at Charlie Kirk’s memorial in September, it’s really more that the MAGA world is simply too mediocre and out-of-touch to produce artists or celebrities that impress people outside of their own circles.

Ironically, it may be Barron Trump’s relative silence that makes him such a fantasy object on the right. They want so badly to have the Trump family produce glamorous, charismatic figures like the Kennedys, but the ones who actually plop themselves in front of microphones and cameras are annoying and awful, turning off everyone who isn’t already in the MAGA fold. Barron Trump, though, is both tall and quiet, making him a visible presence that they can project all their hopes on. Well, at least as long as the family can keep more humiliating pictures of him hanging out with his parents from leaking to the press.

The post MAGA is weirdly thirsty for Barron Trump appeared first on Salon.com.