Ken Burns Announces New 10-Part ‘Mr. Biscuits’ Documentary After Adopting Cat 

WALPOLE, NH—Revealing that the series would force Americans to rethink everything they thought they knew about the “cute little fuzzball,” filmmaker Ken Burns announced Friday the release of Mr. Biscuits, a 10-part documentary about the cat he adopted from a local animal shelter. “For decades, I thought The Civil War would stand as my most important contribution to the art form, but Mr. Biscuits will far exceed the impact of any of my prior works,” said Burns, who explained that the sprawling 20-hour-long production begins with sepia-toned footage of a kitten rolling around on a linoleum floor and then, over the strains of Appalachian fiddle music, details the incredible effect that Mr. Biscuits has had on American life since his birth two years ago. “The film chronicles history, culture, and num-num time, recounting foundational events such as the first time Mr. Biscuits jumped into an Amazon box and the day he gave everyone a scare by eating part of a houseplant.” At press time, Mr. Biscuits was reportedly favored to win every major television and film award.

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