When my family of 4 moved to a small town, we downsized. We now spend more time together and less money.

• When my family of four relocated, we downsized both what we own and how much we spend.
• It wasn't the primary goal, but it happened anyway.
• It changed how we relate to each other, and now, we're more present.

When my wife and I relocated our family of four from Calgary to Nelson, British Columbia, in 2017, downsizing wasn't the primary goal. It was more of a side effect.

We didn't sit down with a checklist and decide to cut down on how much we owned, and aim to slash our budget. We just made a move that made sense for our family, and the move also made certain habits around spending and accumulation impossible.

Looking back, I see that what changed most wasn't just the amount of stuff in our house. It was the way our family spent time together.

Before we moved, we had more stuff and more to do

Our lives were full before the move, but not necessarily in a good way.

We had more stuff, more commitments, and more reasons to be out of the house spending money. Weekends often revolved around errands, shopping trips, paid activities, and $10-a-piece "treats" for the kids to make the grind feel worth it.

We'd wander around big-box stores without needing anything or kill an afternoon in the mall when the weather wasn't nice (which in Alberta is several months of the year). We'd eat out or order in because we were tired after a long day of work and commuting. We'd sign the kids up for activities and events partly because every other parent seemed to be doing it.

None of it felt excessive at the time. It just felt normal.

But it also meant that a lot of our time together centered on consumption. Always buying something, driving somewhere, filling space and time with things that didn't matter. Our schedules were full, yet it often felt like we were ships passing each other in the night rather than actually being together.

Our lifestyle is slower now

After the move, this "Keeping up with the Joneses" mentality didn't translate to our newfound slower-paced lifestyle.

In Nelson, there are fewer places to shop, fewer costly activities, and fewer reasons to be constantly on the move. We bought a smaller house and sold things that didn't make sense to bring with us (I'm looking at you, Ikea furniture). We stopped accumulating by habit because there was simply no longer the same pressure or opportunity to do so.

Eventually, we realized we didn't miss any of it. We stopped browsing stores for entertainment and defaulting to takeout for dinner. We stopped filling weekends with paid activities just to feel productive. Not because we were trying to be virtuous, but because life here didn't push us in that direction.

Without really planning it, our days slowed down.

How we spend time together now looks different

Our family time now revolves around things that don't require much money or planning. Morning hikes and bike rides around the lake. Cooking dinner together. Sitting outside after school and watching the kids play in our big backyard instead of rushing to the next adult-led activity.

One big thing my wife and I have noticed is that our kids don't ask for "things" as often anymore. They now ask to "do" more things, whether it's just to hang out, go outside, play a game, or have friends over. When boredom creeps in, it doesn't get immediately solved with a purchase. It turns into creativity, or rest, or sometimes just being bored together.

Weekends now feel less like logistics and more like shared time — and we love it.

What downsizing has given us

Downsizing our life didn't make us happier overnight or solve all our problems, but it did change the conditions of our daily routines. Today, the choices we make around time and space feel more deliberate, less reactive, and better aligned with how we actually want to live as a family.

As a result, we're now more present with each other than when our lives were busier but less connected. And that's something that has given us the space to notice what matters most and the room to relate to each other without constantly filling the gaps with things, plans, or noise.