I was a contestant on ‘The Bachelor.’ Here’s why AI can’t replace real relationships

In an era of unprecedented connectivity, America still finds itself battling an epidemic of loneliness. After COVID lockdowns forced us apart and social media culture taught us that appearance matters over authenticity, we’ve learned the hard way that being connected is not the same as being known. And into this already fragile moment steps a new threat: Artificial intelligence "romance," engineered to imitate love at the tap of a button.

Recent surveys suggest a staggering rise in AI companionship, with nearly one‑third of Americans reporting some form of intimate or romantic interaction with an AI chatbot. Another study estimates that nearly one in five adults has chatted with an AI "romantic partner."

And while it’s scary enough to consider in adulthood, the most troubling numbers come from our youth. Young Americans who have never known a life untouched by technology. Estimates show that as many as 72% of teenagers have experimented with an AI companion at least once, one in five high schoolers has engaged in an AI "romantic" relationship, and roughly 4 in 10 say they have, or know someone who has, turned to AI for companionship. Most shocking of all, surveys indicate that up to 80% of Gen Z would consider marrying an AI partner.

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In all honesty, none of this should surprise us. Big Tech has spent years reshaping the way Americans think about intimacy and relationships, conditioning us to fear discomfort, vulnerability, rejection and real human connection. Amid the relentless scrutiny of online posts, where every detail of your life is subject to screenshots, judgements and memes, AI offers a safe alternative. No judgment and no rejection, just a machine programmed to flatter and agree.

Where dating apps let you instantly reject or accept potential partners with a simple swipe, an AI companion focuses solely on the user who first prompted its awakening. It goes even further, offering a "partner" with no needs, boundaries, or expectations. AI relationships can feel safer because they provide comfort without commitment, asking nothing in return. But, that’s not love, that’s avoidance. Love was never meant to be easy or effortless.

It can be tempting to imagine a world where we eliminate the personal and social risks of real-life relationships, where heartbreak, embarrassment and vulnerability don’t exist. I understand those risks better than most. On ABC’s The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise, my heartbreak and humiliations were broadcast not only across America, but around the world. It was painful, uncomfortable, but also deeply human. It taught me just how real, and how valuable, those risks truly are. I assure you, it’s not a pleasant experience. But, every failed relationship, including during the brutal gauntlet that is reality television, was a valuable experience that prepared me for the spouse and family God had already planned for me.

Our quirks and personalities aren’t glitches, they aren’t lines of code; they’re what make us better spouses, better partners and better people. A chatbot can’t hold your hand in a hospital room, dance with you in the kitchen, or build a treehouse to withstand both weather and your children. It can only generate pleasant-sounding words and suggestions. And America needs stronger families, not more simulations.

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Scripture is clear about what God intends for us. Ecclesiastes reminds us that two are better than one because they can support each other in life’s struggles. Genesis and Malachi describe marriage as a sacred covenant between man, woman, and God. We are commanded to be fruitful and multiply. Best of luck fulfilling those commands with a piece of software and a glowing screen.

Technology is an incredible thing, and we would be fools not to utilize it as a tool for
Progress, innovation, and prosperity. But we risk losing our humanity when artificial intelligence and virtual relationships replace the real connections that hold families and communities together.

Now, more than ever, we must trust that God has bigger plans for us, not avoid them out of convenience. We must choose courage over comfort, vulnerability over virtual imitation, faith over fear. America faces enough forces pulling us apart, surrendering our humanity to machines only makes it worse.

Empathy, love, and shared struggle are the bonds that build thriving societies. Let’s not let AI replace genuine human connection or do the work of division for those forces.

It’s time to fight for real love, real families and real connection, while we still can.