California Is as California Does: A 2025 Retrospective
Happy New Year! It’s time to take stock of the past, and go out on a limb with a few predictions about the future.
The Year in Review
In 2025 MAGA gave the finger to the MSM. The American people placed a convicted felon behind the Resolute Desk, despite the propaganda ministry’s screaming that he was an existential threat to democracy. So far, he’s — gasp — doing what he said he’d do. Last year may be remembered as the year that propaganda lost its juju.
As California diligently works to turn itself into a wasteland — and not just via flames — the next governor will come to Congress with xer hand out asking for a federal bailout.
The Dems used the year to turn politics into a bloodsport, and I mean literally, not figuratively. They’ve chosen governance via violence rather than consent, and show no interest in returning to the debate stage. Buckle up, this won’t end well.
Hunter Biden’s art sales came to a grinding halt, inexplicably. His masterpieces, which commanded tens of thousands of dollars, are now worth precisely zero. Art is worth whatever someone is willing to pay, and suddenly nobody’s willing to pay anything for Hunter’s stuff. It’s almost as if worldwide artistic tastes changed on election night 2023. Either that or the First Son’s sales were never about the art at all. Hmm.
In January of 2025, California’s leadership proved the wisdom of the Forest Gump axiom: The presence of moronic thinking can be verified by the asininity of actions taken. Forest simplified it for laymen as “Stupid is as stupid does.”
Just as the New Year’s Eve hangovers began, a homeless person in LA County allegedly started a fire, which the seasonal (i.e. predictable) Santa Ana winds fanned into a conflagration. As the spreading flames were being battled, the fire hydrants mysteriously ran dry. Apparently, Governor “Hair Gel” Newsom and Mayor “Large Mouth” Bass hadn’t thought to fill the county’s reservoirs.
The media called it an oversight. Mr. Gump would have called it stupid.
While nearly 11,000 homes were incinerated, California’s crisis management team had other pressing matters to attend to.
Governor “Hair Gel” was hawking his management skill to the voters of other states. His primary argument seems to be his uncanny ability to blame anyone but himself for failures which occurred under his watch. In the case of the Palisades fires, he said it was our fault due to “climate change.”
Mayor “Large Mouth” was out of the country partying in Gyana at the time of the fires. Upon her return, she sprang into action, blaming Donald Trump for the devastation. He had been in office for nearly 2 weeks after all.
LA Deputy Mayor Brian Williams was barred from city hall during the fire, for allegedly making a bomb threat. Hence, he wasn’t much help managing the fires, assuming he didn’t start them.
All those “no shows” left LA Fire Chief Kristin Crowley to face the crisis alone. She worked frantically and tirelessly to ensure adequate trans representation on each of her fire engines.
As 2025 ended, California reminded me of the immortal words of Yogi Berra: “It’s like déjà vu all over again.” The whole country had assumed that even the dimmest of wits would have learned a thing or two from the year’s mistakes. Unfortunately, that was a gross underestimation of the durability of stupidity.
The Pacific Palisades remains a pile of ash. Apparently issuing building permits is beyond the expertise of LA government.
Homeless encampment residents are setting fires for mischief and survival again. The state’s leadership is far too busy hiding illegals from ICE to deal with the explosion of Hoovervilles throughout the state.
The Santa Ana winds are kicking up again. I’m guessing Cali’s leadership couldn’t afford enough carbon offsets to change the weather yet. Maybe they can pass a bond referendum in 2026.
Surprise of surprises: the Palisades reservoir is empty again because the state’s leadership still hasn’t figured out that firefighters need water to, you know, fight fires. Stupid is as stupid … well you get the idea.
My sister-in-law says the quirkiness (her word) of California politics is the “sunshine tax” — the cost one must bear for a marvelous tan. I’ve decided that perhaps vitamin D is good for the body, but bad for the brain. I acknowledge my conclusion is based on anecdotal evidence, not sound scientific research. Perhaps we can skip the double blind studies and reach consensus on the matter instead?
Prognostications
President Trump is going to continue delivering results to the American people. He will also continue bragging mercilessly and relentlessly, driving his opponents certifiably insane.
The Democrats will lean into their madness, taking the minority position on every 80/20 issue, while chanting “Vive la resistance” as a GOTV battle cry. Their campaign platform for the midterms will be: Democracy must be protected from the will of the people — though they may word it somewhat differently.
Saint Greta of Sweden will continue hectoring us that our carbon footprint, rather than her bad life choices, is ruining her future. However, with communism losing its appeal, she’ll propose Sharia Law as an alternative solution for our weather woes.
California will burn again, because business as usual will deliver the usual results. I believe Albert Einstein made a similar scientific observation.
As California diligently works to turn itself into a wasteland — and not just via flames — the next governor will come to Congress with xer hand out asking for a federal bailout, and xe will likely get it. Unfortunately, spending other people’s money is to Congress as a hammer is to a carpenter — the tool of choice. Federal and state leadership will work hand in hand to prove “Gump’s Axion” again. I hope I’m wrong, but that’s my prediction.
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John Green is a political refugee who escaped Minnesota and now writes for The American Free News Network and the Convention of States Action. He can be reached at greenjeg@gmail.com.